IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

why some people do not do exercise after work and how it affects their body what are the causes of it ? what are solutions?

Nowadays,
People
Use synonyms
 do not have
time
Use synonyms
 to do enough
Use synonyms
work out
Join the words
workout
show examples
 or physical activities
due
Add the preposition
todue
show examples
 their jobs and invite various kinds of diseases. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss why it happens and what could be done to get over it.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, One major problem which keeps the
people
Use synonyms
 away from the exercise is long working hours. To explain it, Everyone is busy in the race of earning money for their needs and wants so some
people
Use synonyms
 do long shifts and few of them
work
Use synonyms
 overtime which results in
work
Use synonyms
 stress. By
this
Linking Words
, They forget about their health and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wellness and adopt
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plenty of different health issues.
For instance
Linking Words
, In a survey in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, 75% of
people
Use synonyms
 are getting overweight by ignoring morning
walk
Fix the agreement mistake
walks
show examples
 and diet plans.
As a result
Linking Words
,
Less
Change the quantifier
Fewer
show examples
 body activities
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 fat. To cope with
this
Linking Words
,
People
Use synonyms
 have to make a timing schedule after
work
Use synonyms
 and they have to put up some
time
Use synonyms
 for the body fitness.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, They should give importance to their body along with the
work
Use synonyms
. To do
this
Linking Words
, Everyone
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
 memberships to local gyms or activities centres.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Some
people
Use synonyms
 who have less
time
Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can purchase the
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 like the treadmill or the bicycle and spend a little
amont
Correct your spelling
amount
 of
time
Use synonyms
 on them
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
For Example
Linking Words
, There are cycling race
competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
show examples
 held in every city so the
people
Use synonyms
 can keep themselves fit. To conclude ,
people
Use synonyms
 should look after their health along with their job by doing some efforts.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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