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Band 5

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #lives #change
There is a common
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
 that avoiding
change
 is good; whereas, others suggest that
change
 is as good as rest.I support the idea that
change
 is relevant to current society because it promotes
knowledge
 and innovation.
To begin
 with,
change
 is a process that helps an individual to develop intellectual skills and
knowledge
 on how to perform certain activities differently.
Moreover
, the rapid industrialization and advance technology has made
change
 inevitable
thus
 creating new energy of transiting from
traditional
Add an article
the traditional
show examples
 way of doing things to modern.
Furthermore
,
presence
Correct article usage
the presence
show examples
 of increased
knowledge
 and skills has impacted
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
complicated machines and
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 which has enabled prowess in different fields of professionals.
In addition
,doing things differently is healthy for an individual well being
that is
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
promotes good mental health.
For instance
, the
precences
Correct your spelling
presence
presences
 dialysis machine for patients with chronic kidneys disease.
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
,innovation is relevant for improving the quality of life.
On the other hand
,creating new ways of doing things has watered down the quality of
society
Replace the word
social
show examples
 values and norms meaning communities have adopted
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
 different from the norm.
In addition
, cultural practices are not passed down to
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
 to continue.
For example
, recent research found that
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
 generation does not know how to speak in vernacular language.
Therefore
, copying the western lifestyle has led to the
loose
Correct your spelling
loss
show examples
 of relevant cultural practices. To conclude, rapid industrialization and
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
 technology have improved the qualify of life, have created
immense
Add an article
an immense
show examples
avenue
Fix the agreement mistake
avenues
show examples
 for gaining
knowledge
,skills
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 new innovation and creativity.
Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • stagnation
  • routine
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • specialization
  • innate
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • fast-paced
  • new horizons
  • equilibrium
  • progress
  • dynamic
  • transformation
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