IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #lives #change
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There is a common
believe
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belief
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 that avoiding
change
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 is good; whereas, others suggest that
change
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 is as good as rest.I support the idea that
change
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 is relevant to current society because it promotes
knowledge
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 and innovation.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
change
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 is a process that helps an individual to develop intellectual skills and
knowledge
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 on how to perform certain activities differently.
Moreover
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, the rapid industrialization and advance technology has made
change
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 inevitable
thus
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 creating new energy of transiting from
traditional
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the traditional
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 way of doing things to modern.
Furthermore
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,
presence
Correct article usage
the presence
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 of increased
knowledge
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 and skills has impacted
on
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apply
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complicated machines and
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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 which has enabled prowess in different fields of professionals.
In addition
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,doing things differently is healthy for an individual well being
that is
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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promotes good mental health.
For instance
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, the
precences
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presence
presences
 dialysis machine for patients with chronic kidneys disease.
Therfore
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Therefore
,innovation is relevant for improving the quality of life.
On the other hand
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,creating new ways of doing things has watered down the quality of
society
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social
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 values and norms meaning communities have adopted
new
Correct article usage
a new
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lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
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 different from the norm.
In addition
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, cultural practices are not passed down to
new
Correct article usage
the new
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generation
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generations
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 to continue.
For example
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, recent research found that
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
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 generation does not know how to speak in vernacular language.
Therefore
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, copying the western lifestyle has led to the
loose
Correct your spelling
loss
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 of relevant cultural practices. To conclude, rapid industrialization and
advance
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advanced
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 technology have improved the qualify of life, have created
immense
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an immense
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avenue
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avenues
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 for gaining
knowledge
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,skills
to
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for
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 new innovation and creativity.
Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • stagnation
  • routine
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • specialization
  • innate
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • fast-paced
  • new horizons
  • equilibrium
  • progress
  • dynamic
  • transformation
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