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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Full-time university students spend most of the time studying. They should be doing other activities too. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#university #students #time #activities
It is said that
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 should preserve the extinction of endangered
animals
 from
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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 changes. I partly agree with
this
 view because ecological balance and educating youngsters play a vital role. On the one hand, people face a variety of challenges when
prevent
Change the verb form
preventing
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 the extinction of
animals
 from the natural environment.
Firstly
, the natural process has a long historical period that its impact on
animals
 and
human
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humans
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. It is not only one generation to limit
this
 process, but
also
 many generations to complete it,
beside
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besides
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 that there are a lot of natural disasters
such
 as tsunami,
hurricane
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hurricanes
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 or
earthquake
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earthquakes
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 which can not
stopped
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stop
be stopped
show examples
 by
Add an article
a human
show examples
human
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humans
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.
Secondly
, some
animals
 need to adapt
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 new nature to live better.
For example
, bears live in the south of
pole
Correct article usage
the pole
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 its need to change colour hair and fatter to fight again the cold weather.
Therefore
, changing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature to protect endangered
animals
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is
Add an article
the difficulty
a difficulty
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difficulty
Replace the word
difficult
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.
On the other hand
, I believe that resiting
this
 process to preserve animal
endangerd
Correct your spelling
endangered
 that bring some benefit to
human
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humans
show examples
. The
innitial
Correct your spelling
initial
 reason is that ecological balance is important. If any animal
disappear
Change the verb form
disappears
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 on the earth,
this
 effect
negative
Add a missing verb
is negative
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 on the food chain of other
animals
.
For instance
, human eat a lot of cats lead to mouse develop quickly and destroy crops.
Furthermore
, some human activities attribute to extinct animal species.
For instance
,
human
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humans
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 cut down trees and deforestation lead to
animals
 lost their
habitas
Correct your spelling
habitat
habitats
habits
.
Consequently
, punishment these activities that help protect
animals
 easier. In conclusion, while people have some problems deal with the extinction of
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
, I believe that
protect
Replace the word
protection
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 to extinct
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
special species can be implemented by
Add an article
a human
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
.
Submitted by nhuhieu20032003 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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