although many people value their public parks such space could be better used for other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or develop business and boost economies. do you agree or disagree with this statement?

there has been a debate that public parks
space
could be better used for other purposes
such
as residential areas or business places to boost economies. I strongly disagree with
this
because the world has become a very busy place already. there is no need of cutting down the few things human beings can be used for their pleasure. public parks are very important for any community to wind up after their busy day of life to go and do some exercise or meet a friend or just to sit and relax. ,
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
nowadays there are very few places has been left for
such
areas . each and every
space
was used to build giant companies .
As a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
we can see that there are so many people
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
show examples
becoming mentally ill. they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
have any
space
to see humans everyone is living in a confined
space
and
therefore
they end up
stugling
Correct your spelling
struggling
their In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that if there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
any
possibily
Correct your spelling
possibility
governments should try to allocate more and more spaces for
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
to just relax not try to remove these
Submitted by nethmini on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: