some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

We all acknowledge that

music

gives us considerable influences. In some way, some

people

believe that

music

is great for uniting communities from different backgrounds of cultures and ages. I completely agree that it would be the best way to drives

people

in our societies. We humans, as social animals, need to communicate with each other to build prosperous communities on every scale. There are is a diverse range of media to convey our intentions: conversations, talks, signs, pictures, and

music

. Some

people

believe that the latter one could bring

Remove the article

apply

show examples

typical energy to massive peoples with

different

Add an article

a different

show examples

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

of backgrounds.

For instance

, the national anthems that played in every prominent

events

Change to a singular noun

event

show examples

could tremendously bring spirits for nations all over the

worldworldwide

Correct your spelling

world worldwide

world world wide

. No matter what

people

’s

people

's race, culture, or even religion, they undeniably gave an enormous motivation for the preceding patriots and their troops in the field of war.

Furthermore

, we could see the significant impact of the national anthems in every crucial

moments

Change to a singular noun

moment

show examples

in sports,

such

as The World Cup and The Olympics.

For instance

, before the match starts, football players usually got an opportunity to listen and sing for their national anthems, which are

also

sung by all

supportersll

Correct your spelling

supporters

also

sing.

Consequently

this

echoing sound gigantically booms the atmosphere of the

stadiumstadium's

Correct your spelling

stadium stadiums

atmosphere; it gives players motivating forces to win the game.

In other words

, when the match takes place, the rumbling noise of the supporters’ supporters' anthem makes the entire spectators enthusiastically follow the game. Still, when the game is over,

music

usually accompanies the victory. To conclude, I believe that

music

could provide irrefutable

evidences

Change the wording

evidence

pieces of evidence

shreds of evidence

show examples

to create a collaboration amongst

people

around the world to create collaboration amongst

people

worldwide.

Submitted by kardina.nawassa.s on Sun Jul 25 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
In many countries, people now wear western clothes such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development?
In this westernization, many nations’ citizens are interested in choosing modern dress codes like jeans and suits also their curiosity is declining in their cultural costumes. The main reason behind on this is technology development and people are becoming more literate. In my point of view, this development will give a positive result.
<4
band
It must be a woman who stays at home to care for children. Men are not suited to this kind of work. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
the no denying the fact that children are very important .
8.5
band
You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter Give details of your study plans Explain why you want to get a part-time job Suggest how your friend could help you find a job
Hope you are doing splendidly! It has been a long time since we caught up with each other. I want to give you a heads-up about my visa application. You would be cheered up to know that I got my study visa and coming to Canada next month.
5.5
band
Nowadays, there is a greater focus at all levels in education on science and business studies rather that the arts. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Indeed, modern education programs have shifted their focus on subjects related to science and business. Other disciplines such as the arts are losing the interest of students and universities. In my opinion, this shift on focus responds primarily to the market’s demand.
6.5
band
Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. Agree or disagree?
Some professionals think that the residents will not satisfied with any additional growth in the economy since this nation is already wealthy. In my opinion, I firmly disagree with this statement because while there is a limit that money can bring to us, the increase in economic wealth still makes the citizens more delightful.

some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, people now wear western clothes such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development?

It must be a woman who stays at home to care for children. Men are not suited to this kind of work. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, there is a greater focus at all levels in education on science and business studies rather that the arts. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. Agree or disagree?