‘For all children, the ability to play a musical instrument is just as important as the ability to read and write.’ How far do you agree with this suggestion? How important is it for a child to learn to play a musical instrument, in your view?

#‘for #children #ability #instrument #suggestion #child

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

undenialbe

Correct your spelling

undeniable

the fact that each and every one of us

shoul

Correct your spelling

should

know how to play at least one musical

instrument

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, while the

ability

Use synonyms

to play an

instrument

Use synonyms

can provide some

benifits

Correct your spelling

benefits

such

Linking Words

as improve concentration, increase creativity,etc, I do not agree with the idea that kids need to learn to play

musical

Add an article

a musical

show examples

Use synonyms

instrument

Fix the agreement mistake

instruments

show examples

just like they learn

read

Add the particle

to read

show examples

and write.

First

Linking Words

of all, literacy is a necessary skill

Change preposition

for

show examples

students

Use synonyms

. Because literacy is the

first

Linking Words

and compulsory

subject

Use synonyms

children

Use synonyms

learn in school, from

this

Linking Words

skill

students

Use synonyms

cam understand information coming from other subjects and develop themselves.

For example

Linking Words

, youngster

students

Use synonyms

who do not have

reading

Add an article

the reading

show examples

ability

Use synonyms

can not learn literature so they will be lacking communication skills,

expresing

Correct your spelling

expressing

opinions and persuasion.

Moreover

Linking Words

, reading and writing skill

also

Linking Words

affect their career.It is not the same as

Use synonyms

ability

Add an article

the ability

show examples

to play

the

Correct article usage

show examples

instrument

Use synonyms

. Kids who can not play musical instruments still study well, develop other

Correct your spelling

competencies

show examples

competences

Correct your spelling

competencies

show examples

and get the job they want.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, not all

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

students

Add an article

the students

show examples

have a gift in

music

Use synonyms

music

Use synonyms

is not their cup of tea so it would be unfair to treat

music

Use synonyms

as an essential

subject

Use synonyms

. If

music

Use synonyms

is included in the compulsory curriculum, it will be a burden on the

children

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

with a talent for

music

Use synonyms

will easily pass the requirements of the

subject

Use synonyms

, but the rest of the

children

Use synonyms

may feel pressured to try to practice something beyond their

ability

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and feel inferior itself. In conclusion,

music

Use synonyms

should still be an optional

subject

Use synonyms

. Pupils should know play

Use synonyms

instrument

Fix the agreement mistake

instruments

show examples

but it cannot be a measure of a child's

ability

Use synonyms

, so it should not be considered as important as literacy.

Submitted by thientrang1616 on Sun Jul 25 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In some countries, fast food restaurants and companies give money to schools provided that the school promote their products to school children. What do you think is the positive and negative of this in the development of children?
There have been ongoing debates about whether fast food enterprises should invest in education to promote their products in schools. There are both advantages and disadvantages to this practice. However, I personally believe that the potential benefits outweigh the drawbacks, and I will elaborate on this in the essay.
7.5
band
In most countries, prison is the most common solution when people commit a crime. However, if they were to receive better education, it could prevent them from becoming criminals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In most nations, jail is the most typical solution when individuals commit lawbreaking. However, some argue that if they were given a better education, it could hinder them from becoming criminals. I partially agree with this view since the main problems with the high rate of violations are not only the lack of education but also the economic reasons.
7
band
Write a letter to a friend who is looking for a part time job. Describe a job you have found for him/her including: - What are the duties? - Why do you think it is a good job for him/her? - What does he/she have to do to get it?
I hope you and your family are well! Thank you so much for helping me relocate to my new apartment. The reason I am writing to you is because I am aware you have been looking for a part-time job during our summer break and the great news is I found a vacancy that suits you most.
4.5
band
Some people say the government should spend money on providing faster public transport while others believe the government should give priority to other factors such as cost and the effect on environment. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Providing faster public transport might be difficult, considering the amount of money that should be spended on, the difficulties that government may face, and the technical progress of the region, that we are talking about. Depending on these factors, it could be said that it is not as easy as it seems, as the state should watch order in the various areas, and maintain everything on time is not always possible even in the advanced countries of the world.
5.5
band
Some people think that all young people should be required to stay in full-time education until at least the age of 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Youngsters should engage themselves in the full-time education until the high school curriculum is finished. From my perspective, it is a great tool for a student and a lot of benefits will help him in his future. This essay will examine further the advantages of a continuous education.

‘For all children, the ability to play a musical instrument is just as important as the ability to read and write.’ How far do you agree with this suggestion? How important is it for a child to learn to play a musical instrument, in your view?

In some countries, fast food restaurants and companies give money to schools provided that the school promote their products to school children. What do you think is the positive and negative of this in the development of children?

In most countries, prison is the most common solution when people commit a crime. However, if they were to receive better education, it could prevent them from becoming criminals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter to a friend who is looking for a part time job. Describe a job you have found for him/her including: - What are the duties? - Why do you think it is a good job for him/her? - What does he/she have to do to get it?

Some people say the government should spend money on providing faster public transport while others believe the government should give priority to other factors such as cost and the effect on environment. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that all young people should be required to stay in full-time education until at least the age of 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree?