IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many families today, both parents work. Are there more advantages when a mother works than disadvantages?

#families #parents #work #mother #works
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
More often than not,
mothers
Use synonyms
 pay more attention to take care of children than fathers. With more and more
women
Use synonyms
 choose to get out of home and start their own careers, people argue that whether a full-time housewife is more beneficial to the family. In my opinion, households that man and wife both work have more advantages.
First
Linking Words
, two-earner families could achieve life-work balance more easily. Double salaries are usually much more than single pay, which could guarantee the quality of daily life and provide better education for children. If there are only one of the parents working, financial risks would raise.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, fathers feel that their lives are filled with works while
mothers
Use synonyms
 are doing housework when only one of them has an official job, which intends to produce family contradictories.
Secondly
Linking Words
, babysitting is not only the
women
Use synonyms
's duty. When it comes to babysitting, people get inclined to regard it
mothers
Use synonyms
' task. For
women
Use synonyms
, it is unfriendly to be a full-time mom most times. Because being a housewife means giving up most part of their own careers, social relationships and leisure time, and most men take it for granted. It is unfair for
women
Use synonyms
 to force them to undertake
this
Linking Words
 task that should belong to both parents.
Mothers
Use synonyms
 must be given the right to choose for themselves.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is not to say that two-worker households must be more competent in family management. With the development of our economy and technology, people have got a higher salary and have more access to jobs.
For example
Linking Words
, working from home makes us have more time for accompanying children and the income raise releases labour from households. We have more choices now and we can adjust family roles depends on our own situations. In conclusion, the family business has never been about the responsibility of one side only, while it is about both
mothers
Use synonyms
 and fathers.
Besides
Linking Words
, whether a mother works or not depends on her own situation.
Submitted by liuhuixia0816 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: