Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #individuals

People

have

Correct pronoun usage

who have

show examples

different views about individuals

are

Correct pronoun usage

who are

show examples

more or less dependent on each other nowadays. In my

view

Add a comma

,view

show examples

this

modern world

force

Change the verb form

forces

show examples

us to be independent than

old

Add an article

the old

show examples

generation. There are two main reasons why it could be argued that

people

are more dependent on

others

Firstly

, life became more complex and difficult because the living cost is increased dramatically.

For example

, young adults tend to rely on their parents for help to buy a new house. The property cost is high in

ever

Correct your spelling

every

show examples

and many impossible to pay deposit and

mortage

Correct your spelling

mortgage

Mortage

Secondly

people

seem to be more ambitious and they want quality of life for their families. To achieve

this

both parents have to work and earn full time and they are dependent on

Correct your spelling

grandparents

show examples

grand parents

Correct your spelling

grandparents

show examples

and

babysitter

Fix the agreement mistake

babysitters

show examples

for their child care.

However

, I would agree with

people

who

thinks

Change the verb form

think

show examples

we are independent these days. In

majority

Add an article

the majority

show examples

countries

Add a comma

,countries

show examples

families became smaller and dispersed.

People

cannot count on relatives as they used to do it. We have more freedom and stay away from our local town. Students are going outside to complete their study and it made them more independent to do the things alone.

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

we can work these days from

any where

Join the words

anywhere

show examples

and earn without depending on

others

. To recapitulate , some of them are thinking individuals are dependent on

others

. In my

view

Add a comma

,view

show examples

we are independent

Change preposition

show examples

others

this

advanced technology world

Submitted by meera.antu on Tue Jul 27 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

239 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

interconnected
globalization
remote work
independence
dependency
specialization
professional services
social validation
individualism
self-reliance
collective action
sustainability
global community
navigating
complexity
environmental movement

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believ that they should be free to work in another country if they wish.
People have different way of thinking about professionals such as doctors and engineers, while some of them believe that the professionals needs to practice their skills in country where they graduated their degree, but others believe that the professionals had an opportunity to expand their skills to other country. In my opinion, it would be a good chance for professional who work with their abilites to grow up in any level of occupation and freely has chance to get higher incomes in any place.
6
band
Some people believe that uniform should be made compulsory part of the workplace, some disagree, discuss both view and give your opinion.
There is still a debate on making a uniform an obligation or not. Although some people argue that every employee should wear a uniform while in their workplace, the others completely disagree. This essay will discuss both views and address my opinion regarding the topic.
<4
band
Student should pay full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Full cost for study should be paid by students due to the personal benefits of university education. This author agree with this statement because knowledge in university just serve for individuals future and unversity simply a service.
6.5
band
Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many people suppose that we should invest some budgets in building new ones instead of spending money on the reconstruction of old towers. From my perspective, I partially agree with this assertion, while it may be true in some cases, others seem to be not suitable for doing that. In this essay, I will discuss both views to support my idea.
6
band
Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyle in the countryside. Others believe that there are health benefits of living in cities. Discuss both views and give your opinions.
The majority of individuals say that living in the suburban area of the town and also villages is more beneficial for the health of people, for some think that one of the best environments exists in the developed cities which fosters either health or physical skills.While cities are a noticeable condition, these days the environment of the cities negatively on the number of individuals' health.I completely disagree with this statement, because living in the villages is better for strength than city life.

Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believ that they should be free to work in another country if they wish.

Some people believe that uniform should be made compulsory part of the workplace, some disagree, discuss both view and give your opinion.

Student should pay full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyle in the countryside. Others believe that there are health benefits of living in cities. Discuss both views and give your opinions.