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Band 4.5

Question: Some people think that inorder to deal with the problem of congestion in cities, privately owned vehicles should be banned in city centers while others consider this to be unrealistic solution.

#people #inorder #congestion #cities #vehicles #city #centers
A school of thought argue that in order to cab the menes of traffic jam in towns is to discourage the presence of
individualy
Correct your spelling
individually
individual
individuals
 owned
vehicles
 accessing the central business stations, whereas others
sees
Change the verb form
see
show examples
 the move as not practical.I personally, support the statement that decongesting central business stations in cities
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 essential for boosting economic prowess and environmental sanitation.
First
 of all, people spend a lot of
time
 on the roads while making their way to
work
 meaning each valuable
time
 is lost as
time
 wasted will never be recovered;
As a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 the economic status of a given
city
 start declining with subsequent
lose
Replace the word
loss
show examples
 of valuable
time
 for
work
.
Moreover
, denying access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 privately owned
vehicles
 to
town
Correct article usage
the town
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 will improve
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the level of air pollution
that is
 to say reduced exhaust fumes that are responsible for polluting the environment.
Furthermore
, several individuals will be forced to walk to
work
as a result
 they will be performing
exercise
Add an article
the exercise
an exercise
show examples
 to reduce excess calories
thus
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 lifestyle.
For example
,a recent study by Nairobi Metropolitan Service indicated that 80% of the causes of congestion in the
city
 are
as a result
 of
private
Replace the word
privately
show examples
 owned
vehicles
.
Thus
 decongesting the
city
 is important in maintaining
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic stability.
On the other hand
, allowing private
vehicles
 to enter central business stations will promote
easy
Add an article
the easy
show examples
 flow of goods and services.
In addition
,it will improve
on
Add a hyphen
on-time
show examples
time
 that people get to their respective
work
therefore
Add the comma(s)
,therefore
show examples
, presence of private
vehicles
 has an advantage to businesses in town. To sum up, traffic jam has robbed the cities of their
splendor
Change the spelling
splendour
show examples
 and fortune owing it to productive
time
 lost.
Finally
, decongesting the
city
 will promote healthy
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 not only to
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 residents but
also
 to
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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