With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered and some are even facing extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What can be done to protect animal?

#deforestation #development #species #extinction #animals

These days, when human life is facing climate change, global warming,

disappearence

Correct your spelling

disappearance

of some animal species, scientists have been calling all people to save Earth and the living

environment

However

, some people seemly ignore these problems. In my opinion, I do agree that saving

creatures

is essential and there are many different ways to be taken immediately.

Firstly

, it is a fact that animal species should be preserved because they are a part of biodiversity and nature.

Human

Fix the agreement mistake

Humans

show examples

need an ecosystem and a healthy living

environment

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

has been established from plants and

creatures

. An ecosystem supplies humans with food, fresh water and air, raw materials.

For example

forest

Fix the agreement mistake

forests

show examples

and

ocean

Fix the agreement mistake

oceans

show examples

absorb greenhouse gas, plants reduce

storm

Fix the agreement mistake

storms

show examples

, floods and droughts.

Moreover

creatures

living in the forests are responsible for the development of their habitats.

For instance

mamals

Correct your spelling

mammals

and birds would disperse seeds around the forest. It is terrible that extinction or reduction of some species would affect significantly

Change preposition

apply

show examples

an ecosystems

Correct the article-noun agreement

ecosystems

an ecosystem

show examples

Additionally

, preservation

creatures

and their habitats need to acquire fast due to the human living

environment

by many different methods.

Firstly

, the more population growth rate is rising the more the influence of human causes natural

environment

, so

this

rate should be reduced along with wasted food.

Secondly

, the governments should give production standards for clearing plants to get wood as well as they

also

punish if anyone overcome the limitation.

Thirdly

, one of the best

way

Change to a plural noun

ways

show examples

to protect animals is that consumers should not buy products made from animals and change their eating habits to be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

vegeterian

Correct your spelling

vegetarian

. In conclusion, it is certainly adequate that

creatures

are more important than some people think. It is predicted that governments , communities, companies have been aware of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

animal preservation and the ecosystem and

finally

taken more ways effectively.

Submitted by hotuanhitech on Tue Jul 27 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

deforestation
urban development
illegal hunting
endangered species
extinction
ecological balance
ecosystems
pollination
seed dispersal
population control
biodiversity
resilience
intrinsic value
economic benefits
tourism
agriculture
legislation
wildlife protection laws
illegal hunting
wildlife reserves
marine protected areas
public awareness
conservation
community involvement
sustainable practices
scientific research
conservation strategies

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think they have the right to use as much water as they want. Others, however, believe that the government should control the use of fresh water as it is a limited resource. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Big-salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary