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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.
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The pie charts show the difference between France and Australia
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
production
Add an article
the production
show examples
 of electricity in 1980 and 2000. In Australia in 1980, the production of Coal was the highest
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 50
units
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
Oil
Use synonyms
 was the lowest
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 10
units
Use synonyms
. Hydro
Power
Use synonyms
 and Natural Gas are the same for 20
units
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. Coal remained at top production in 2000 for 130
units
Use synonyms
 whilst
Oil
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 and Natural gas
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 2
units
Use synonyms
. Hydro
Power
Use synonyms
 was relatively high for 36
units
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. Nuclear
Power
Use synonyms
 in France in 1980 was 15
units
Use synonyms
 and it significantly reached 126
units
Use synonyms
 in 2000. The consumption of
Oil
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 and Natural Gas in 1980
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 the same
as
Change preposition
at
show examples
 25
units
Use synonyms
 but in 2000,
data
Correct article usage
the data
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 Coal was the same with
Oil
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 25
units
Use synonyms
. Data of Hydro
Power
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 and Natural
Power
Use synonyms
 fell. The total unit
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Australia in 1980 and 2000 was 100 and 170
units
Use synonyms
 and in France was 90 and 180
units
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words units, oil, power with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Electricity production
  • Fuel source
  • Renewable sources
  • Non-renewable sources
  • Significant change
  • Evolved
  • Dominant source
  • Introduction of new sources
  • Reliance
  • Electricity production mix
  • Environmental implications
  • Future trend
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