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Band 5

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of this? How can we deal with those causes?

#countries #amount #crime
Throught
Correct your spelling
Through
Throughout
 the years there
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been a soaring number
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
crimes
 around the
world
. There are various reasons that are known to the cause for
this
 matter. I strongly believe that the economic crisis throughout the
world
take
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takes
show examples
 an enormous role
towards
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
 issue.
First
 of
all
Add a comma
,all
show examples
crimes
 are usually made by
people
 who are currently suffering for their needs. Most of the criminal cases
where
Replace the word
were
show examples
 based on robbery from the poor who were hungry for help.
For instance
, in 2019 France went through a tragic moment where there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 a trend with
robbering
Correct your spelling
robbing
robbery
 luxury shops due to an increase in homeless and jobless
people
. Other than robbery there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 an
increase
Change the verb form
increasing
show examples
 number of cases based on
murdering
Change the form of the verb
murder
show examples
. Throughout various investigations on the cases based on murder, the reason for the murderer to cause
such
 action was based on survival and hunger for their own need.
Therefore
 to decrease
such
 disasters, the government and the society in the country around the
world
 should put to an act. Government and the society may take a role to lower the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
crimes
 that have been increasing throughout the years. The government could build
home
Correct your spelling
homes
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
homeless
people
 .
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 the society could bring up a community for donating clothes and food and bring up
charity
Add an article
a charity
show examples
 for the ones who are in
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
show examples
. The balance
that is
 provided to all the
people
 may help decrease the outrageous
crimes
 throughout the
world
 and help the
world
 to become a better and safer place. I
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic disparity
  • propensity
  • recidivism
  • deterrent
  • rehabilitative
  • judicial system
  • corruption
  • socioeconomic
  • alienation
  • stigmatization
  • decriminalization
  • enforcement
  • gentrification
  • preemptive measures
  • intervention strategies
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