Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is argued that the
protection
of a small number of wild
animals
is
important
Correct quantifier usage
more important
show examples
to consider than protecting all of the wild
animals
. I completely agree with
this
view. I strongly believe that protecting a small number of
animals
is good for some
animals
, but not suitable for all wild
animals
.
This
essay will
firstly
discuss, how only a few wild
animals
need
protection
.
Secondly
,
this
essay will discuss why not all
animals
need
protection
. On the one hand, some
animals
could not survive in certain
conditions
during their lifetime.
For instance
, polar bears are being negatively affected by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global warming
that is
on the rise. Despite the freezing
conditions
in the arctic region, the lakes are not being frozen enough in the summer so polar bears can walk on the lakes and catch fish to eat.
Therefore
, the survival of polar bears is now dependent on weather
conditions
.
Hence
, those
animals
nowadays need
protection
for survival.
On the other hand
, most wild
animals
do not need shelter because they cannot survive in protected environments.
For example
, monkeys need a spacious environment to eat fruits and ants from trees.
In addition
, monkeys are raised by their mothers to hang from tree to tree and not be forced to stay in a large room.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, no matter how large the room is, it could never
equals
Correct subject-verb agreement
equal
show examples
the forest that they live in. In conclusion, some wild
animals
are being threatened by today’s weather
conditions
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
a shelter is
a need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
for them to survive.
While most
Correct word choice
Most
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wild
animals
will never stand
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
protected shelter in a building. In my personal opinion, only a small number of wild
animals
should be protected, but certainly not all of them.
Submitted by zainaabbara99 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are logically linked throughout the essay. Use transition words to connect ideas and create coherence.
task achievement
Provide a more detailed and balanced discussion of both views. Ensure that examples are relevant to the discussion and support the main points effectively. Use clear reasoning and evidence to fully address the task question.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • conservation status
  • ecological significance
  • holistic approach
  • endangered species
  • natural heritage
  • unforeseen negative impacts
  • economically non-viable
  • prioritization
  • ecosystem balance
  • conservation efforts
What to do next:
Look at other essays: