Whereas some think that celebrities should not get involved in politics, others claim they can play an important role in changing society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#think #celebrities #politics #role #society

Some people believe that superstars should not get engaged in political parties, others say that they can play a crucial role

to make

Change preposition

in making

show examples

a change in society.

Although

celebs should not participate in

politics

because it is not their expertise, I believe that they would play

important

Correct article usage

an important

show examples

role in changing society as hundreds of followers. On the one hand, celebrities should keep a distance from

politics

Replace the word

political

show examples

parties because it is not their expert area.

This

is to say that they do not have prior knowledge about how the functioning is going on in the political system.

Therefore

, they would not

able

Add a missing verb

be able

show examples

to highlight the key areas to work for the public and there would be high chances of misguidance by wrong persons.

For example

, in India, many Bollywood actors joined

politics

to do something for the public but failed to do that because of the absence of knowledge about the system.

However

, I believe that they can make a change in the community by using their fan following.

On the other hand

, famous personalities can create a positive impact on humanity because of their listeners.

This

implies that celebrities have millions of followers in their personal and professional

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

, so when they promote something, that catch millions of people

attending

Wrong verb form

attend

show examples

As a result

, the promotion creates a great deal of impact on the public.

For instance

, during a pandemic, in India, many celebrities

start

Wrong verb form

started

show examples

compain

Correct your spelling

campaign

to help

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

low-class families by providing them

food

Change preposition

with food

show examples

and shelter, and they all get support from all over the nation.

Therefore

, I fully agree that superstars could create a positive change. In conclusion, despite, famous personalities should avoid involvement in

politics

because it is not their best area, I believe they play an important part in the betterment of society

Change preposition

through

show examples

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

support.

Submitted by sonamrohilla on Wed Jul 28 2021

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extended

Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views and offering a personal opinion. However, the response lacks depth and fails to fully develop the arguments.

extended

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates some logical structure and supported main points, but the introduction and conclusion need improvement to better frame the discussion. Additionally, the essay would benefit from clearer transitions between ideas to enhance coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Whereas some think that celebrities should not get involved in politics, others claim they can play an important role in changing society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many people think that television is very important and educatiional for children. They believe that children should watch alot of t.v. at home and at school. To what extent do you agree?

The best way for a country to prepare for the future is to invest resources in its young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It has become more easier and more affordable for people to travel to other countries. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? Give your opinion and relevant examples from your experience.

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reason for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?