Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages.

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In
this
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sophisticated
world
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,world
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many
people
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spend
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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most of the
time
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to work
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working
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hard and little
for
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on
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leisure
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activities,
this
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might be
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
sometimes but
also
Linking Words
may have many difficulties.
This
Linking Words
essay will explain some benefits and drawbacks of
this
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fact. Working for long hours is good for making more money and getting oneself busier. In spite of, having
good
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the good
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financial condition is important in
life
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,
although
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only money would not be support physically and mentally.
Moreover
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,
people
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would
facing
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face
be facing
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major health issues.
For example
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, 65% of
people
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have eyes issues due to watching visual
display
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displays
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10 hours a
day
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, before only 20% of
people
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were wearing spectacles.
This
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behaviour is getting worst
day
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by
day
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and making many difficulties on
people
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's health.
However
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,
people
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will do work sufficient
time
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a
day
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they will get more
leisure
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time
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to relax
themselves
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apply
show examples
and they will get
time
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to make fun with family and
fariends
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friends
.
Furthermore
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, working for only office hours,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will
definately
Correct your spelling
definitely
have advantages like, getting more
leisure
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time
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, metally feel calm and most importantly in a
leisure
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time
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they can do activities like, yoga, gymnastic, singing, dancing and many more that make them happy. In conclusion, working more and earning more is not important as your health and social
life
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. Money more can give you luxury facilities but it never
give
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gives
show examples
you relaxation and real happiness
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
life
Use synonyms
.
People
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should have some
leisure
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time
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for themselves and enjoy
life
Use synonyms
without having any stress.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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