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Band 4.5

in some countries a few people earn extremely high salaries. some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn.

#countries #people #salaries #country #government #control #limit #amount
To start with, it is evident that professionals and other working class in a
country
 provide a major portion of economic boost in a
country
.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 I believe that the
government
 in a
country
 should harness the imbalance between the
salary
 hike and dip. The economy of a
country
 depends on many things and the
salary
 of
employees
 is one among them. Though it can boost up the economy to a great extent, the over
salary
 hike of some professionals are not acceptable and satisfactory. It will seriously damage the economy in many ways. for
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example, in
India
Add a comma
,India
show examples
 the imbalance between high and low
salary
employees
 are dramatically higher and as the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
reason, it affects
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
 and people in a negative manner. Supporting the statement,
inflation
Add an article
the inflation
show examples
 rate in India is
example
Add an article
an example
the example
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which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 is hiking day by day, along with the poor becomes
more poor
Replace the words
poorer
show examples
 periodically. The
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
show examples
 paragraph
deatiled
Correct your spelling
detailed
 about the role of
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
 and the concerned authorities and they should take collective actions to minimise the issues in
time
. In my view, the responsible
government
 department should present new bills in the parliament and the political parties should go along with
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 new amendment bills in a supportive way. the
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
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 to take timely plans are high
time
 in India, while the
employees
 can have
clear
Add an article
a clear
show examples
 understanding
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the significance of these new changes in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
. Being
smart
Add an article
a smart
show examples
 and productive employee is a boon in a corporate
society
.
on the other hand
, realising the situation of a
country
 and
adaptive
Add a missing verb
being adaptive
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 it is highly recommendable. in my strong statement, I believe it is high
time
 to implement bills in the parliament in regards
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
salary
 inequality and at the same
time
, it is the duty of the
government
 should make
employees
 knowledgeable about the economic situation of the
country
. To put it in a nutshell, the points described in the essay reflect the need of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
society
 and people to become proactive adaptive and knowledgeable
with
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the changes in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
. The essay detailed
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the effect of
salary
 imbalance in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
 and it and its high
time
 for a wake call for the authorities to take timely action plans. The more efficient the
government
 becomes to our the
employees
 with the
salary
 issues, the more issues can be resolved in
this
 regard.
Submitted by sooryag03 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealth inequality
  • economic growth
  • motivation
  • talent acquisition
  • consumer spending
  • tax revenue
  • redistributing wealth
  • market forces
  • income disparity
  • social stability
  • freedom of choice
  • meritocracy
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