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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

in some countries a few people earn extremely high salaries. some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn.

#countries #people #salaries #country #government #control #limit #amount
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To start with, it is evident that professionals and other working class in a
country
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 provide a major portion of economic boost in a
country
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.
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However
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,However
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 I believe that the
government
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 in a
country
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 should harness the imbalance between the
salary
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 hike and dip. The economy of a
country
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 depends on many things and the
salary
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 of
employees
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 is one among them. Though it can boost up the economy to a great extent, the over
salary
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 hike of some professionals are not acceptable and satisfactory. It will seriously damage the economy in many ways. for
an
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apply
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example, in
India
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,India
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 the imbalance between high and low
salary
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employees
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 are dramatically higher and as the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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reason, it affects
the
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apply
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society
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 and people in a negative manner. Supporting the statement,
inflation
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the inflation
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 rate in India is
example
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an example
the example
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which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 is hiking day by day, along with the poor becomes
more poor
Replace the words
poorer
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 periodically. The
above mentioned
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above-mentioned
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 paragraph
deatiled
Correct your spelling
detailed
 about the role of
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Government
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the Government
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 and the concerned authorities and they should take collective actions to minimise the issues in
time
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. In my view, the responsible
government
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 department should present new bills in the parliament and the political parties should go along with
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 new amendment bills in a supportive way. the
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
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 to take timely plans are high
time
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 in India, while the
employees
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 can have
clear
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a clear
show examples
 understanding
about
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of
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 the significance of these new changes in
the
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apply
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society
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. Being
smart
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a smart
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 and productive employee is a boon in a corporate
society
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.
on the other hand
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, realising the situation of a
country
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 and
adaptive
Add a missing verb
being adaptive
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with
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to
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 it is highly recommendable. in my strong statement, I believe it is high
time
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 to implement bills in the parliament in regards
with
Change preposition
to
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the
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apply
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salary
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 inequality and at the same
time
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, it is the duty of the
government
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 should make
employees
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 knowledgeable about the economic situation of the
country
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. To put it in a nutshell, the points described in the essay reflect the need of
the
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apply
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modern
society
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 and people to become proactive adaptive and knowledgeable
with
Change preposition
about
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 the changes in
the
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apply
show examples
society
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. The essay detailed
about
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apply
show examples
the effect of
salary
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 imbalance in
the
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apply
show examples
society
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 and it and its high
time
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 for a wake call for the authorities to take timely action plans. The more efficient the
government
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 becomes to our the
employees
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 with the
salary
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 issues, the more issues can be resolved in
this
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 regard.
Submitted by sooryag03 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealth inequality
  • economic growth
  • motivation
  • talent acquisition
  • consumer spending
  • tax revenue
  • redistributing wealth
  • market forces
  • income disparity
  • social stability
  • freedom of choice
  • meritocracy
What to do next:
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