IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #places #people #ban
Nowadays,
although
 more and more
people
 tend to smoke in comparison with the past, the governments are strict to smoking;
as a result
, in the majority of countries, citizens are not allowed to smoke in public places. I believe that
this
 restriction is justified, as smoking affects not only a smoker, but all
people
 around them;
additionally
, the
number
 of
smokers
 might decline considerably due to that ban, which renders society healthier. To start with, when a person smokes, the fumes from the cigarettes distribute rapidly;
consequently
, if the individual smokes in a crowded place, other
people
 are involved in smoking as well, yet in the passive form.
This
 can lead to the formation of different respiratory diseases. The research of the University of Manchester, which was published in 2016, concluded that 50% of
people
 suffered illnesses caused by passive smoking in the time range between 1990 and 2000, while these figures decreased to 20% by the end of 2015.
Hence
, the ban is needed in order to reduce the effect on
people
 who have not chosen to smoke.
Furthermore
, smoking is widely considered a bad habitat;
therefore
, some restrictions may reduce significantly the
number
 of
smokers
. The majority wants to get rid of that habitat, yet they are unable to do that due to some reasons
such
 as strong addiction.
However
, the ban discourages smoking and makes
this
 activity harder to arrange due to a limited
number
 of places adapted for smoking.
As a result
, the health of the citizens may get better. In the light of the thoughts elaborated upon, I would like to conclude, that making smoking in public places illegal is justified as it decreases the
number
 of passive
smokers
 along with the actual
smokers
, which contributes to the formation of a healthier population.
Submitted by samir2002mamedov on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • secondhand smoke
  • prevalence
  • respiratory issues
  • environmental pollution
  • litter
  • healthcare costs
  • smoking-induced illnesses
  • encourage smokers to quit
  • public health improvement
  • justified
  • public spaces
  • exposure
  • non-smokers
  • inconvenience
  • younger populations
What to do next:
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