Child obesity is an increasing problem in Australia. As many as two third of the children are obese. School have responsibility to monitor what their students are eating and amount of their exercise. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#child #obesity #australia #two #third #children #school #responsibility #students #amount #exercise

Health means physical and mental well being and it is one of the crucial development of

children

.But

now a days

Correct the word

nowadays

show examples

majority of

school

students

are obese. I completely agree with the notion that schools have

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

own

Change the verb form

owned

show examples

responsibility to mobilise healthy habits, which will be addressed in the following paragraphs

Moreover

, modern advertisement and food chain companies

are always encourages

Change the verb form

are always encouraged

are always encouraging

show examples

unhealthy eating habits in spite of its consequence.

As a result

, it brings overweight and related

healthy

Replace the word

health

show examples

problems among kids .

On the other hand

, schools and other educational settings need to identify what kind of food

intakes

Fix the agreement mistake

intake

show examples

are follow by their

students

because education generates

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

lifestyle among people.

Although

children

need a proper amount of protein and minerals for their brain development to achieve their learning

task

Fix the agreement mistake

tasks

show examples

. To illustrate

this

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

of India introduced

mid day

Add a hyphen

mid-day

show examples

meal programs for

school

students

under 14 years old .Admittedly,

adapting

Correct your spelling

adopting

show examples

good eating habits and circulating

protein enriched

Add a hyphen

protein-enriched

show examples

meals

are

Change the verb form

show examples

the motto of

this

programs

Fix the agreement mistake

program

show examples

. Apparently, teachers play an important role in the socialization of

children

In addition

this

, they can make awareness among parents through PTA programs (parents teachers association) in

school

settings.

Furthermore

, introducing calory list, physical exercise ,yoga practice, community voluntary works and sports facilities

provides

Change the verb form

provide

show examples

more inspiration of healthy eating

amongs

Correct your spelling

amongst

among

school

students

For example

, in

Japan

Add a comma

,Japan

show examples

every minor

students

Change to a singular noun

student

show examples

should follow cleaning, meals distribution and cooking in their

school

settings ,for creating them more responsible and healthier. In

conclusion

Add a comma

,conclusion

show examples

health is the wealth of man whereas every

children

Change to a singular noun

child

show examples

need a healthy body d and mines so social institution like schools will amba more convenient and creative ideas for

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

lifestyle

Submitted by sooryag03 on Thu Jul 29 2021

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
monitor
responsibility
nutritional education
physical activity programs
collaborative effort
dietary habits
exercise routines
healthy lifestyles
tackle
structured
partnership
curriculum
reporting concerns
home-school partnership

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Child obesity is an increasing problem in Australia. As many as two third of the children are obese. School have responsibility to monitor what their students are eating and amount of their exercise. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that teachers are no longer needed because students can study via the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, while other schools have a very relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children of having a school uniform?

Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can'f afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

The world is experiencing dramatic in population,which is causing problems not only for developing countries but also for developed nations Describe some of the problems that overpopulation causes and suggest at least one possible solution.