Child obesity is an increasing problem in Australia. As many as two third of the children are obese. School have responsibility to monitor what their students are eating and amount of their exercise. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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Health means physical and mental well being and it is one of the crucial development of

children

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.But

now a days

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nowadays

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majority of

school

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students

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are obese. I completely agree with the notion that schools have

there

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their

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own

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owned

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responsibility to mobilise healthy habits, which will be addressed in the following paragraphs

Moreover

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, modern advertisement and food chain companies

are always encourages

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are always encouraged

are always encouraging

show examples

unhealthy eating habits in spite of its consequence.

As a result

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, it brings overweight and related

healthy

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health

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problems among kids .

On the other hand

Linking Words

, schools and other educational settings need to identify what kind of food

intakes

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intake

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are follow by their

students

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because education generates

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

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lifestyle among people.

Although

Linking Words

children

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need a proper amount of protein and minerals for their brain development to achieve their learning

task

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tasks

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. To illustrate

this

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government

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the government

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of India introduced

mid day

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mid-day

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meal programs for

school

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students

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under 14 years old .Admittedly,

adapting

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adopting

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good eating habits and circulating

protein enriched

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protein-enriched

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meals

are

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show examples

the motto of

this

Linking Words

programs

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program

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. Apparently, teachers play an important role in the socialization of

children

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In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, they can make awareness among parents through PTA programs (parents teachers association) in

school

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settings.

Furthermore

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, introducing calory list, physical exercise ,yoga practice, community voluntary works and sports facilities

provides

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provide

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more inspiration of healthy eating

amongs

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amongst

among

school

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students

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For example

Linking Words

, in

Japan

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,Japan

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every minor

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students

Change to a singular noun

student

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should follow cleaning, meals distribution and cooking in their

school

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settings ,for creating them more responsible and healthier. In

conclusion

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,conclusion

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health is the wealth of man whereas every

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children

Change to a singular noun

child

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need a healthy body d and mines so social institution like schools will amba more convenient and creative ideas for

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

lifestyle

sooryag03Thu Jul 29 2021

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
monitor
responsibility
nutritional education
physical activity programs
collaborative effort
dietary habits
exercise routines
healthy lifestyles
tackle
structured
partnership
curriculum
reporting concerns
home-school partnership

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Child obesity is an increasing problem in Australia. As many as two third of the children are obese. School have responsibility to monitor what their students are eating and amount of their exercise. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Nowadays more people are choosing to live with their friends or alone rather than with their families, this trend is likely to have a negative impact on community. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Students easily access information online so libraries are no longer necessary. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

in some countries, more and more people are becoming intrested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. what are the reason for this ? how can people research this ?

1.Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Some people say that international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreighn language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?