IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

fast food idustry is having negative effects on our health? Do you agree or disagree?

#food #idustry #effects #health
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In
this
Linking Words
 modern era,along with technical advancements,the
food
Use synonyms
 consumption is
also
Linking Words
 getting advance as it
also
Linking Words
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 affected our health and I
am completely agree
Change the verb form
completely agree
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 with
this
Linking Words
 statement
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
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therefore
Linking Words
 I will provide reasons to justify my answer in the following paragraphs
To begin
Linking Words
 with,fast
food
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 deleterious
Replace the word
effects
show examples
affects
Correct your spelling
effects
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 on health as it originated many
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
 problems in an individual
such
Linking Words
 as from the
last
Linking Words
 decade it is seen that more cases of obesity, heart
diseseas
Correct your spelling
diseases
disease
 are come across by consuming street
food
Use synonyms
.Along with
this
Linking Words
,various ingredients
are use
Change the verb form
are used
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 by the
food
Use synonyms
 makers which affect the economy of a nation
also
Linking Words
,to illustrates
this
Linking Words
,government spend a lot of
budget
Change to a plural noun
budgets
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 just to import
the
Correct article usage
apply
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artificial flavours from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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abroad which interrupts their incentives too.
Besides
Linking Words
,fast
food
Use synonyms
 suppliers
also
Linking Words
enhances
Change the verb form
enhance
show examples
 the use and throw culture in a country,
for example
Linking Words
,more people usually taste the
food
Use synonyms
 and
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
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 of it
disposed
Add a missing verb
is disposed
show examples
off
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 which is seen in various places which creates pollution.It
also
Linking Words
 affects the
expensive
Replace the word
expense
show examples
 of a person,
for instance
Linking Words
,due to
hectic
Correct article usage
a hectic
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 schedule,most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people buy their meals from restaurants which seems to be much costlier than
Correct your spelling
homemade
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home made
Correct your spelling
homemade
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food
Use synonyms
 and waste a valuable amount of their income on fast
food
Use synonyms
. It is concluded that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
one should consume
food
Use synonyms
 from
Use synonyms
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
 industry but
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 small intervals so that it
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not have a major impact on an individual's body as it causes different kinds of ailments in human beings.
Submitted by wahe8585 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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