Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

The government is wasting

money

Use synonyms

in contributing to music and theatre, rather than use that income for public facilities. I decline

this

Linking Words

statement as arts are

also

Linking Words

part of public welfare.

This

Linking Words

notion shall discuss my views on investing

money

Use synonyms

First

Linking Words

of all, as in my ,

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

both plays a vital role for the public.

This

Linking Words

means the arts include singing, theatre and many more. They represent our nation that how good we are at singing and drama. It helps our country to showcase our talent in different fields.

For instance

Linking Words

, right now every country has its own

movies

Use synonyms

Similarly

Linking Words

, India has Bollywood where we are giving our best shot while in music or in films.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

government is supporting in terms of wealth.

Consequently

Linking Words

, the administration is getting a good return on

this

Linking Words

Although

Linking Words

, authorities are

also

Linking Words

considering on public facilities

such

Linking Words

as transport, giving more services.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, while investing

money

Use synonyms

in music the international country knows about our culture, by showing our traditional

movies

Use synonyms

and songs and help to grow the overall economy of the nation.

For example

Linking Words

, many years ago a plethora of religious

movies

Use synonyms

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

released

such

Linking Words

as Ramayana, Mahabharata and many more. Whereas these

movies

Use synonyms

are

also

Linking Words

famous in foreign countries. By

this

Linking Words

, they got to know our religious culture that how brave our goddesses are.

Moreover

Linking Words

, I think these films are more important rather than building public facilities for the public. To conclude, investing

money

Use synonyms

in both cases are equally important, but showcasing our talent and culture is more essential rather than building bridges, metros a lot more.

Rajat

Jul 30, 2021

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural enrichment
expression of creativity
promote diversity
enhance social cohesion
boost tourism
job creation
stimulate economic growth
improve quality of life
essential services
maintenance and development

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