Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money, others argue that these are necessary for individuals. Discuss both views and give opinion.

According to some
people
Add a comma
,people
show examples
festivals are important for human
life
and some others argued that it will only
results
Change the verb form
result
show examples
Change preposition
in loosing
show examples
Replace the word
losing
show examples
loosing
Correct your spelling
losing
show examples
money. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
I will explain
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
and cons of
this
statement and I strongly
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
that celebrations are more important in human
life
.
Moreover
, festivals are more convenient for today's busy
life
because it makes
life
more beautiful.
In addition
, it results
Add the preposition
in
from
show examples
family gathering,
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
integrity and social recognition among human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
.
Although
,
city
Add an article
the city
a city
show examples
considered
Add a missing verb
is considered
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the land of strangers
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
community celebration makes a new system of adaptation among youngsters. To illustrate
this
, during the time of Holy festival (
oneof
Correct your spelling
one of
of
the major spiritual events in India) added colourful lights among
people
without their class and cast.
In addition
,
this
enjoyment of community
life
created
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
new meaning in social values.
However
, now parties
used
Add a missing verb
are used
show examples
for social status or a symbol of extravagance that's distributed the gap between rich and poor in our society. Admittedly,
people
borrow money from
Add an article
the bank
a bank
show examples
bank
Fix the agreement mistake
banks
show examples
and they are spending
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
resources for enjoying these events.
As a result
,many
people
lost their happiness without realising the value of
life
.In 2019,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
of Kerala conducted a survey related to suicide death Reportedly, the result shows that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of
this incident
Fix the agreement mistake
these incidents
show examples
occurred due to bankruptcy related to
marriage
Add an article
the marriage
a marriage
show examples
ceremony
Fix the agreement mistake
ceremonies
show examples
. In conclusion,
life
is more valuable, that everyone needs to enjoy the moments of togetherness but we should keep
this
happiness
long lasting
Add a hyphen
long-lasting
show examples
not just
distroying
Correct your spelling
destroying
life
with
Replace the word
losing
show examples
loosing
Correct your spelling
losing
show examples
money.
Submitted by sooryag03 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: