Ensuring that children have regular physical exercise should be the responsibility of parents and therefore schools should not waste valuable school time having sports lessons as part of the curriculum. To what extent do you agree?

While some people argue children should have physical education at home by their
parents
, some other people believe that school should consider some
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
classes for
students
at school.
However
, I reckon
schools
are a proper place for children to attend physical practices. On the one hand,
schools
are a
suitabel
Correct your spelling
suitable
environment for pupils to examine their physical
health
under
supervision
Add an article
the supervision
show examples
of
health
experts and trained coaches.
Therefore
,
amature
Correct your spelling
mature
amateur
students
can be trained safely without taking the risk of injuries.
Furturmore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, they can have interaction with other pupils which not only does
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
improve their social skills but
also
it boosts their competitive spirit.
On the other hand
, some families with
low-income
Correct your spelling
low income
show examples
can't afford all the training equipment for their offspring.
Thus
, even if
parents
had the
willing
Replace the word
willingness
show examples
to train their
kidds
Correct your spelling
kids
at home they would be disappointed to fulfil their
attemption
Correct your spelling
attention
because of economical matters. While educational institutes
such
as
schools
have provided free facilities for
this
purpose irrespective of
students
' status or income levels.
Moreover
,
parents
should encourage their kids to stay motivated during weekends and holidays.
For instance
, they can take them
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
hiking
Change the verb form
hike
show examples
or fishing. To conclude, even though
parents
can be effective in
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
physical
health
, I believe the majority of
this
duty is upon
schools
and academic environments.
Accordingly
, they can set regular
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
classes in
students
' curriculum,
as a result
,
students
would pursue physical educations regularly which boost their physical and mental
health
simultaneously.
Submitted by jared-100 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • structured environment
  • inclination
  • teamwork
  • sportsmanship
  • cooperation
  • academic time
  • intellectual development
  • after-school activities
  • relegated
  • family bond
  • supervised
  • well-being
  • equipment
  • expertise
  • professional physical education teachers
  • safe and beneficial
What to do next:
Look at other essays: