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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.

#people #sense #competition #children #co-operate #adults
Nowadays, there is much debate around
competition
 and
cooperation
 between
children
. Some people prove that
competition
 develops
children
 better and at the same time other
group
Change the wording
groups
show examples
 of people believe that cooperative
children
 adapt faster to society in future.
This
 essay will discuss both points of view before coming to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 reasoned solution. On the one hand,
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
show examples
 of
competition
 in students is very important, especially if
competition
 encourages motivation in a long run. In our competitive society to be taught as a strong and purposeful person is very valuable.
For example
, excellent students can be a positive sample for the group of
children
 that do not believe in their talents or
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 self-confident enough if
competition
 between them accompanies by praise and faith.
On the other hand
,
cooperation
 among
children
 is vital too, because it gives a great opportunity to learn how
become
Add the particle
to become
show examples
 a member of the team and perhaps become a leader in future.
Cooperation
 encourages self-confidence, open-minding and creativity,
therefore
children
 which work in
team
Add an article
a team
show examples
 are more helpful and communicated.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 students which take part in some
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
show examples
 work together as one team achieve high scores mostly. To sum up, in my opinion,
competition
 and
cooperation
 are equally important for
children
’s upbringing and help kids to become adapted for modern society. As long both options have a positive impact they can be introduced into the parenting process.
Submitted by kurish.ernest on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
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