IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people fail in school but end up being successful in life. why do you think that is the case ? what is the most important thing to succeed in life?

#people #school #life #case
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
According to Charles Darwin, survival is the fittest,
likewise
Linking Words
, being successful is a matter of concern in the modern era to be fit in society. A prudent person can be successful in
life
Use synonyms
 rather than an educated one.
This
Linking Words
 essay will reflect the concept of success, examples and
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 significance
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, acquire knowledge through learning is satisfactory to meet the requirements for jobs and money.
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 it is evident that many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the educated people end up in failures in
life
Use synonyms
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
 of many reasons.
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 in Indian
business
Use synonyms
magnate
Add a comma
,magnate
show examples
 Anil Ambani didn't succeed in his
business
Use synonyms
 even if he had plenty of educational background and family support.
on the other hand
Linking Words
, another
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
businessman
show examples
business man
Correct your spelling
businessman
show examples
, Mr Baiju, became a millionaire in a couple of years through his
business
Use synonyms
 because he implemented prudence in
business
Use synonyms
 rather than educated merits and
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
. while supporting the detailed statement, a study conducted in Asia points out that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of the successful and rich people are illiterate or less educated.
however
Linking Words
 to acquire success they are appreciable.
Moreover
Linking Words
 to succeed in
life
Use synonyms
 depends on many things
such
Linking Words
 as timely usage of cleverness and action plan is mandatory in order to be satisfactory to succeed. for
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
illustration,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of the
sports persons
Correct your spelling
sportspersons
show examples
 all over the world are not educated much or they have only preliminary education.
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 they gathered success in their career despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
educational support. In conclusion, it is evident that school merits
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not the scale to weigh a person whether he is
succeed
Replace the word
successful
show examples
 or not, whereas common sense, prudence,
life
Use synonyms
 experience are the key factors to mitigate the issues to be successful in
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by sooryag03 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: