IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

These days many people are choosing to have fewer children and so smaller families. Is it better to have a small family than a large family?

#people #children #families
Many of the modern age
parents
 tend to choose an elementary family structure
instead
 of a huge family. The majority of people agree that nuclear
families
 can afford numerous amenities when comparing to larger
families
. Some people take the view that the benefits from extensive
families
 are high. In my opinion, having a smaller family with one or
two
children
 is more advantageous than a bigger family. Some
parents
 prefer an extensive family even in
this
 modern era. Most of them are from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prosperous family background. Mainly, in order to follow their legacy in the future, they prefer more than
two
children
.
Although
 money-related issues are eradicated in these
families
, in overpopulated countries like India, more than
two
children
 in a family remain as an unsolved problem. That means population rise due to
this
 many
children
 plan will create far-reaching repercussions on the national economy. These days, often
parents
 think of having one or
two
children
.
Although
 the per capita income of many earning persons
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been increased a noticeable range, the expenses escalated as well. So, most of them suffer to balance between the salary they receive and their cost of living. If one has a bigger family, the suffering will be more intense.
This
 could lead to serious consequences,
such
 as poverty in
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
, nutritional deprivation in
children
 and mental stress to the whole family.
Thus
 limiting
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of offspring in
families
 promote better living standard and lesser mental stress. While many
parents
 prefer compact
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
, some get interested in bigger
families
 with a number of siblings. Both of them have advantages and disadvantages. In my opinion, I strongly support
to limit
Change the verb form
limiting
show examples
 the number of
children
 by
two
 as a maximum, in order to provide sufficient money and spend enough time with them.
Submitted by Manoj on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: