Some people say schools should be responsible to teach young adults to look after their health, others think this is not responsibility of schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #schools #adults #health #responsibility

According to some people, faculty is responsible for teaching their students how to take good care of their

health

; others insist that

this

is not the responsibility of the

school

. In my opinion, the

school

is the best place for

children

to learn about

health

and fitness.

Firstly

to begin

with, youngsters spend a lot of their time at institutions and

as a result

, they have hardly any time to attend

health

classes

outside of

school

Moreover

, they definitely prefer to attend fitness

classes

school

as it gives them some break from their regular academic

classes

and it

aslo

Correct your spelling

also

acts as a stress buster.

Therefore

, it is easy to teach them the ways to take care of their

health

school

premises.

For example

, according to research bi-weekly fitness

classes

reduces the number of sick leaves taken by students by 40%.

Secondly

children

take their teachers words more seriously

then

Correct your spelling

than

show examples

their parent's as they want to be in the good books of their teacher.

Thus

, when a healthy habit is taught by their

school

teacher

children

tend to follow the routine better.

In addition

, at

school

teenagers have the company of other adolescents.

This

enables them to participate in team events like football or cricket and

intract

Correct your spelling

interact

attract

more with each other. To sum up, people’s opinion towards whose responsibility to teach

children

to take care of their

health

varies. Taking everything into consideration, I agree that schools

schools

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

should be responsible to teach young adults to look after their

health

Submitted by sriban1974 on Tue Aug 03 2021

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Nutritional education
Childhood obesity
Diet-related illnesses
Physical fitness
Sedentary lifestyles
Mental health education
Destigmatize
Coping mechanisms
Lifestyle choices
Information overload
Holistic approach
Well-rounded individuals

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