IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since the internet has widely replaced their function. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?

#libraries #waste #money #internet #function #idea
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is believed that there is a waste of money on keeping public
libraries
 because the
function
 of the
internet
 substitutes public
libraries
 in many aspects. I agree
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that the
function
 of public
libraries
 was replaced by the
internet
 to a large extent.
However
, I
also
 believe that the existence of public
libraries
 is extremely significant. There are some reasons why the
internet
 is more beneficial than
libraries
.
People
 can experience the convenience of online
books
 and reduce their expenses on time and travel. The digital evolution brings a variety of advantages to
people
such
 as the huge amount of types of
books
, unrestricted opening hours of
books
 and the cost of travelling to the public
libraries
 especially for those who live in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural areas.
The public
Correct article usage
Public
show examples
libraries
 can offer knowledge for
people
 from all walks of life. In
this
 case, problems of social inequities can be reduced with the
function
 of
libraries
 because
people
 regardless of the socioeconomic state can have a free opportunity to gain knowledge.
Libraries
 cannot only offer the opportunity for
people
 to read
books
, but
also
 have other functions that cannot be replaced by the
internet
.
In addition
, the
Community
 Council can organize a wide range of activities
such
 as
books
 clubs and
books
 sharing meetings there to gather the local
community
 together so that individuals can feel a sense of belonging
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
community
.
Furthermore
, it is important for
people
 to increase face to face interaction with each other
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
 way. As far as I am concerned, the replacement of public
libraries
 is unreasonable.
This
 is because everyone in the society has
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free access to knowledge and have activities there.
Thus
, it brings the benefit of the public
libraries
 are not restricted to individuals, but
also
 to the
community
 where public
libraries
 exist. On the one hand, the
function
 of the
internet
 that brings to individuals is very beneficial.
On the other hand
, the existence of public
libraries
due
Add a missing verb
is due
show examples
 to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 advantages to every person in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Submitted by 576579710 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: