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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many argue that in order to improve the quality of education, high school students are encouraged to comment or criticize their teachers. Others believe that this will lead to a loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both perspectives and express your opinion?

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In recent years, the impact of
students
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 criticizing high school
teachers
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 has sparked considerable debate
due to
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 differing perspectives within society. On one hand, receiving
feedback
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 from
students
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 is widely endorsed,
while
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on the other hand
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, upholding respect and discipline has garnered significant attention. I believe that
while
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 student
feedback
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 may influence the quality of
education
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, it should be expressed in a respectful manner.
This
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 essay will explore both sides of the argument, comparing and contrasting their respective views.
To begin
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 with, supporters of the first viewpoint argue that individuals need to recognize their strengths and weaknesses to foster self-improvement.
This
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 suggests that those committed to growth and self-development should remain open to receiving
feedback
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, criticism, and suggestions. As
teachers
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 play a pivotal role in the
education
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 system, if they are provided with constructive
feedback
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 from
students
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, they can address their shortcomings, ultimately enhancing the
overall
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 quality of
education
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.
Conversely
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, some individuals present valid concerns regarding
students
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 criticizing
teachers
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, which merit attention. They assert that a respectful relationship between
teachers
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 and
students
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 must be upheld.
This
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 group argues that allowing
students
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 to offer comments could lead to disciplinary issues, which are essential in the classroom, and that
students
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 may lack the expertise to critique their
teachers
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.
For instance
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, a student's criticism may strain their relationship with the teacher, potentially affecting the teacher’s performance and the quality of
education
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. In conclusion, from my perspective,
feedback
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 is a crucial step in the educational process and essential for the improvement of any system. If efforts are made to enhance the educational system, the most effective source of
feedback
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 would be the
students
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.
However
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, the manner in which criticism is delivered should be taught to
students
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, and the importance of maintaining respect and discipline should be emphasized.

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task achievement
Try to use more specific examples to further illustrate your points. Currently, the essay could benefit from additional evidence or hypothetical scenarios to strengthen the arguments made.
coherence cohesion
Consider restructuring some sentences to enhance clarity and ensure that each paragraph has a strong topic sentence. This will help in making your argument flow more smoothly and logically.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly sets the stage for the essay and provides a concise overview of the debate, which is well achieved through the articulation of both perspectives.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a balanced perspective, reinforcing your opinion with consideration of both arguments.
logical structure
The essay maintains a logical structure and progresses smoothly from one idea to another, which aids in the readers’ understanding and engagement.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clearly expressed, and you use a range of vocabulary to convey your message. This makes the essay engaging and easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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