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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Science will soon make it possible for people to live until 100 years, perhaps even to 200 years. Some people think that this would be a good thing. Others think that it would cause many problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#science #people #years
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Achievements we
able
Add a missing verb
are able
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 to achieve in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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science and technology are remarkable. It has been predicted the way we are getting along its not far away when every
person
Use synonyms
 will able to live more than 200
years
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 thinking relish some people but some
contradicts
Change the verb form
contradict
show examples
 that it would create
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of problems.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both
perspective
Change to a plural noun
perspectives
show examples
 and I will give my opinion as well in the forthcoming paragraphs. According to
Linking Words
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 notion, if it made possible to live more than two hundred
years
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 that would be a markable accomplishment because if it made certain that a human can live around 200
years
Use synonyms
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 every
person
Use synonyms
 will be able to plan his
life
Use synonyms
 better as there will be enough time to do
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
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such
Linking Words
 as marriage, kids, study and soon.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a
disease free
Add a hyphen
disease-free
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life
Use synonyms
,
for example
Linking Words
, as the
person
Use synonyms
 will able to
long
Add an article
a long
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life
Use synonyms
 it can only happen if an antibiotic of every disease is found, which makes almost quarter of humans
life
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
bedridden
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bed ridden
Correct your spelling
bedridden
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. According to
Linking Words
second
Change the article
the second
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 statement, having
such
Linking Words
 a long
life
Use synonyms
 span will cause
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of problems
such
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 as
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
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over population
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
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, pollution, deforestation etcetera.
Firstly
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,
with
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apply
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having
large
Change the article
a large
the large
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 number of
years
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 to live for a
person
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, will make a world
tidy
Correct article usage
a tidy
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 place to live as
birth
Add an article
the birth
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 rate will be
same
Correct article usage
the same
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, to adjust more populace demand for land will rise which can become the reason for deforestation, which eventually make a populated world.
For example
Linking Words
, it has been researched that countries with large populace have
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 populated air. To sum up,
although
Linking Words
 the feeling to live
Add a hyphen
disease-free
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disease
Correct article usage
a disease
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 free
life
Use synonyms
 for
such
Linking Words
 a long period relish people
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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that can be the reason for the destruction of our ecosystem.
Furthermore
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, if our environment got vanished there will be no place to survive. I am with the
later
Correct your spelling
latter
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 statement.
Submitted by rs376635 on

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