IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#future #nobody #newspapers #books
21st
Correct article usage
The 21st
show examples
 century is the period of all
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of advances, especially technological. Sooner or later daily habits
such
 as reading the newspaper may happen online on mobile devices and laptops.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
as
Replace the word
like
show examples
any
Change preposition
with any
show examples
 other prediction, there are always exceptions in the population. On one hand, making
newspapers
 available online may be of more convenience to many. It will be
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
easier to
accces
Correct your spelling
access
 ad read the daily news just with a single tap on the screens of our mobile phones.
Additionally
, it will
also
 be cheaper and
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
 more interactive as videos , ads and many more new features can be added to the virtual versions.
Consequently
, all of
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 advantages listed above
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 could encourage the majority of perplexed to convert from physical
newspapers
 to virtual ones.
Similarly
,
books
 could
also
 be modernised by making them available online, which can spare the hassle of bringing a big book or several
books
 you would like to read, leaving you with more luggage space or
lighter
Correct article usage
a lighter
show examples
 backpack. All of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 pros
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 could lead to the decrease in numbers of
newspapers
 and
books
 being bought significantly.
On the other hand
, a significant minority of the worldwide population oppose
against
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 modernisation. It all comes down to personal preference, the modern world is usually associated with
fast paced
Add a hyphen
fast-paced
show examples
 way of living, which is not for all. Many prefer reading their news or stories with a physical newspaper or book in their hands. Some say it enhances their experience and find it more interactive.
For instance
, the crosswords
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
last
 page of most
newspapers
 is a favourite pass-time activity for elderly people.
However
, it is not only personal reasons but
also
 health reasons that may benefit
physician
Fix the agreement mistake
physicians
show examples
 meaning of reading rather than digital ones. Screens have been proven b a number of studies to be detrimentally harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 the eyes. The
eye-health
Correct your spelling
eye health
show examples
 of the younger generations have seriously deteriorated compared to that of the elder generations at their age. Undeniably, it will continue to get worse if no measures are taken.
Consequently
, all of the reasons pointed out may lead to an increased usage of traditional meanings of reading. In my opinion, there will still be people buying printed copies of
newspapers
 and
books
, even if it is significantly less. As the alarming rate at which the sight of children is worsening more and more each year, will not go unnoticed and unaddressed.
Submitted by deryabyurhan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • cost-effective
  • cultural value
  • sentimental value
  • reliability
  • distracting
  • access to
  • digital devices
  • internet
What to do next:
Look at other essays: