IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #age #groups #information #websites #risks
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent times, the world has become much closer than before because of many different reasons
such
 as social
media
, which is helping to make new relationships.
However
, sharing some personal
information
 on social
media
 could be hazardous. In
this
 essay, I will explore the advantages and disadvantages of sharing personal
information
 on a social
media
 website before giving my opinion on the issue. no one can deny there are some disadvantages to sharing sensitive
information
such
 as personal identification and bank secret numbers. We can say the most important negatives of sharing confidential
information
 facilitate hacking your electronic devices which increases the risk,
for example
, accessing personal photos or more important
information
,
such
 as withdrawing money from your bank account.
On the other hand
, one of the most cited advantages of sharing personal
information
 on social
media
such
 as the real name, phone number, and some personal photo It may help spread your content if it is good for huge advertising or marketing companies which could be an additional source of income for you.
In addition
, sharing simple personal
information
 facilitates acquaintance between people It
also
 brings interests closer. In conclusion, social
media
 has become a phenomenon and some tolerate sharing confidential
information
.
However
, it has good and bad sides so the main advantage of sharing personal
information
 gives you an opportunity to increase your income while the primary disadvantage facilitates hacking your electronic devices. In light of the above, my personal belief is the risk outweigh the benefits.
Submitted by yahyagamal2010 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social media platforms
  • Connectivity
  • Self-expression
  • Creativity
  • Global communication
  • Instantaneous communication
  • Personal growth
  • Career advancement
  • Privacy concerns
  • Identity theft
  • Cyberbullying
  • Addiction
  • Productivity
  • Misinformation
  • Crisis
What to do next:
Look at other essays: