In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. This is having a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In a large number of countries the world over, traditional foodstuffs are losing priority down to the availability of continental
food
items
.
Consequently
, there has been a growing body of opinion that
this
phenomenon has detrimental effects on both families and societies. Being a rational mind, I, too, assent to
this
notion, for I am of the view that
this
tendency would create distance among family members, and societies would surely lose uniqueness in culinary skill and customs. Among the ratiocination to buttress my stance, the one that deals with the downside of having international fast foods as a reason
of
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for
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creating distance from youngsters to elderly people because of having different
food
preferences.
In other words
, older people used to
eat
Wrong verb form
eating
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conventional foods cannot change their eating
habit
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habits
show examples
when adolescents bring fast
food
items
in
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to
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their dining tables, causing many arguments and creating a gap between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
generations. To exemplify, an empirical study conducted by Oxford University reveals that 95% of juveniles do not like to go out
for eating
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to eat
show examples
with their guardians because of dissimilarities in
food
choices among them.
Therefore
, a gradual increase in the consumption of junk
food
has negative repercussions on family lives. Another critical rationale in reference to why the replacement of traditional
food
by
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with
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international
items
has negative impacts on a community is necessarily synonymous with
vanishing
Correct article usage
the vanishing
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some
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of some
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indifferent
culture
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cultures
show examples
and cooking
skill
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skills
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. To be more precise, if fast
food
items
were not being introduced and replaced, people would continue to follow their conventional cooking style and
food
habits, resulting in protecting their customs and norms. To cite an example, Singapore
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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lost its ancient
food
culture many years ago because of the consumption of international snacks in
a
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apply
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large
quantity
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quantities
show examples
.
Hence
, continental foodstuffs surely have many negative impacts on society. In conclusion, the increasing consumption of junk
food
instead
of traditional meals negatively affects personal life and society.
Submitted by shawlin90 on

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task response
You have provided a clear position on the issue and supported it with relevant arguments and examples. However, try to include a conclusion section that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and relevant examples. Ensure that the flow of ideas is smooth and the paragraphs are logically connected to each other. Additionally, consider using transitional words to improve coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural identity
  • heritage
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • globalization
  • nutrient-rich
  • bonding
  • local cuisine
  • fast food chains
  • convenience
  • processed ingredients
  • sustainability
  • culinary traditions
  • mass-produced
  • environmental degradation
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