Government should spend more money on education than sports. Do you agree or disagree?

There has an opinion offered
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
general
Add an article
the general
show examples
public that
country’s
Correct article usage
a country’s
show examples
financial potential should
be took
Change the verb form
be taking
be taken
show examples
advantage
for
Change preposition
of for
show examples
educational
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
rather than sports
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
. Personally, I totally advocate
this
point of view and give my explanation and examples below.
Firstly
, when the
governement
Correct your spelling
government
invests more
money
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
educational
Add an article
the educational
show examples
system, as a
reslult
Correct your spelling
result
, establishing more schools accumulating effective teaching methods and adequate facilities.
For example
,
Vietnamese
Correct article usage
the Vietnamese
show examples
government passed through
a
Change the article
an
show examples
education-driven law that providing a large amount of
money
for applying technological advancement in
teacihing
Correct your spelling
teaching
and learning which is deemed a real breakthrough. It is an opportunity for all students to widen their horizon of knowledge, fostering them to boost
therir
Correct your spelling
their
potential abilities and desire to contribute
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
their country in the future.
Therefore
, educational
invest
Replace the word
investment
show examples
undeniably will make interest for in long term. Another plausible explanation is that while providing
money
for
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
events only brings the reputation and profit for a country in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
aspect, education is a huge process that
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
positively on countless factors in society. It is clear to realize that with
improved
Correct article usage
an improved
show examples
educational structure, we can enhance the strength of scientific research, prominent artists and medical achievement. A fundamental background should be made on the support of government to reach our educational purpose. In conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that government should spend a large amount of
money
on education due to the fact that its benefits far outweigh that of sport . In foreseeable future,
this
perspective will prove its rationality and will make
profit
Add an article
a profit
show examples
for any country believing it.
Submitted by lamnguyenphuc03 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: