IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#governments #money #railways #roads
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It is undeniable that the world has had changed from an agricultural community into a modern society. In that case, the state governments spend
money
Use synonyms
 to improve the transportations. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that the governments should spend a lot of
money
Use synonyms
 on railways rather than motor lines. From my point of view, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view for many reasons. In the following paragraph, the reasons to support my opinion will be outlined in the detail. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that the leadership should improve the
railroads
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 rather than
road
Use synonyms
transports
Use synonyms
 because the
railroads
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 are an important line to transport many products and passengers in long-distance between cities, and the
trains
Use synonyms
 have low price ticket, compared with other
transports
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they think that the
trains
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 have lass risk of accidents due to the tracks must have
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own lines which other
transports
Use synonyms
 cannot use, and the railways are often maintained by engineers, as the results, many persons have the confidence to use the
railroads
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 rather than others.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, other
people
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, including me, strongly argue that the ministry of the country should spend
money
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 on
road
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 transportations rather than
railroads
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 because the roads are used by many
people
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 and many
Use synonyms
transports
Change the wording
means of transport
modes of transport
types of transport
kinds of transport
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as cars, buses, motorbikes and bicycles. In short-distance,
road
Use synonyms
 vehicles are more suitable rather than
trains
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, when
people
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 want to travel some areas near their home, they should use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cars or
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
buses rather than
trains
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
road
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transports
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 are the connector with other
transports
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 which cannot access the destination.
However
Linking Words
,
road
Use synonyms
 transportation can offer some disadvantages.
For example
Linking Words
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 low security that can cause accidents to
user
Add an article
the user
a user
show examples
. In conclusion, I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 point because
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
show examples
 my opinion,
road
Use synonyms
transports
Use synonyms
 can access
easily
Replace the word
easier
show examples
 than
trains
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trains
Use synonyms
 play an important role in the transportation of each country.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is recommended that the authority of the country should split the
money
Use synonyms
 appropriately on both developments.
Submitted by kitsanayuiyui on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
What to do next:
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