IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Q. The best way to reduce crime among youngsters is to teach parents good parenting skills. Do you agree or disagree?

#q #crime #youngsters #parents #skills
One of the most conspicuous
activities
 of today's world is delinquency. It
being
Change the form of the verb
is
show examples
 conceived, the rate of illegal
activities
 can be alleviated among juveniles by teaching their
gurdians
Correct your spelling
guardians
 about essential parenting traits. I firmly agree with
this
 notion and reasons are fabricated in
epilogue
Add an article
the epilogue
an epilogue
show examples
. There is a deluge of arguments in favour of my stance. The most preponderant one is that a child's social behaviour portraits their upbringing.
For instance
, children actions define what they are learning from their fosters.
Consequently
,
parents
 should consider how they are behaving in front of their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
. Any kind of domestic
volience
Correct your spelling
violence
 and heated arguments between partners will not only impact their
kids
Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
show examples
Correct your spelling
mindset
show examples
mind set
Correct your spelling
mindset
show examples
 but
also
 encourage them for
netorious
Correct your spelling
notorious
nefarious
activities
. Needless to say, all these demerits have a
far reaching
Add a hyphen
far-reaching
show examples
 impact on society and individuals. Another overt facet to reduce criminal mentality among youngsters is that
parents
 should render adequate time to build
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
 attachment with their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
. To articulate, a survey has been conducted by psychologists which scrutinize the fact that teenagers who are not being observed by their
parents
, are highly
vulenerable
Correct your spelling
vulnerable
 and can be easily involved in various
felony
Fix the agreement mistake
felonies
show examples
 due to peer pressure. Contrarily, fosters who observe their offspring's
activities
 and do
concelling
Correct your spelling
counselling
 their children can protect
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 from various illegal outcomes.
Hence
, it is apparent why many are in favour to reinforce the opinion. Conclusively, the above-mentioned shreds of evidence unleash the fact that
parents
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
 as well reactions both matters and are responsible to outline an impression on a child's brain.
Furthermore
, people cannot deny the legitimacy of the fact that parenting skills can aid to mould youngsters
mind set
Correct your spelling
mindset
show examples
 which will prevent them to be a part of
crime
Add an article
the crime
a crime
show examples
.
Nevertheless
, one can conclude that the benefits of
such
precuationary
Correct your spelling
precautionary
 measures are indeed too great to ignore.
Submitted by hiteshnakra16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: