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Band 4

In many countries, prison is the most common solution to the problem of crime. However, another effective way is to provide people with a better education so that they cannot become criminals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #prison #crime #people #education #criminals
Whenever we open the newspaper or news channel, we can see
crime
 everywhere in the world. From the small age
itself
Add a comma
,itself
show examples
 we should educate the child about the things which we cannot do. In many countries,
jail
 is the best solution to the problem of
crime
. I agree with the above statement, and I will explain why in the following essay. As far as I
concerned
Add a missing verb
am concerned
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,
punishment
 is the best option for the
crime
. If they will not get the
punishment
 they will repeat the
crime
 again in the same form or the other form.
For instance
, if a thief
take
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takes
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a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
small things from one place, no one can catch them, that will give him to take more precious items from the very
next
 time
onwords
Correct your spelling
onwards
.
Correctional
Correct article usage
A correctional
show examples
 facility is the best way of
punishment
. Through the
jail
, they will get the education regarding
their
Change the word
the
show examples
crime
 that he did. Once they enter
into
Change preposition
apply
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the prison, they feel
isolation
Replace the word
isolated
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 from
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 normal life which include
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
family, friends and relatives. They will lose their freedom as well. Because of the strict
jail
 rules, they may decide to become good
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the rest of their life. The thief will think, he could have
work
Change the verb form
worked
show examples
 out of the
jail
 and earn more money and take care of their family, if he was out the prison. Based on the facts which I outlined above, I strongly agree that the
punishment
 in the form of
correctional
Add an article
a correctional
show examples
 facility is the best solution of
crime
 than we give only education to the criminals.
Submitted by dileepjosed on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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