IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

in some countries the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The shooting incidence
are
Change the verb form
is
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 increasing in many countries because people are having guns in
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their respective
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
. The following statements are the point of my views about
this
Linking Words
 topic Personally,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 agree that one of the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 increasing shooting cases is the availability of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
firearms at their respective homes. Though some people have believed that having it may serve as their personal
defense
Change the spelling
defence
show examples
 to protect themselves and the whole family but sometimes it is being used in
wrong
Add an article
the wrong
a wrong
show examples
 way.
For instance
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 most
Fix the agreement mistake
occasions
show examples
occasion
Add a comma
,occasion
show examples
 men are very fond of showcasing their firearms at home and they try to operate
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 in front of their friends and shoot it anywhere. Sometimes it can hit anybody at that place and may cause serious damage. So it is important to handle the guns
in
Correct your spelling
inappropriate
show examples
appropriate
Add an article
an appropriate
the appropriate
show examples
 way and
also
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 should be used in the safest place.
However
Linking Words
, on the other side of the coin, some people do have it because
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 leisure.
For example
Linking Words
, they use it for sports. Many individuals especially men are
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
this
Linking Words
 sports already but the same thing to do, use it with
precautionary
Add an article
a precautionary
the precautionary
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measure
Fix the agreement mistake
measures
show examples
 for the safety of everyone. To conclude, having guns at home is good for personal
defense
Change the spelling
defence
show examples
however
Linking Words
 it should be kept and used
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the right time. Same as well in using it for
sporting
Add an article
a sporting
show examples
 event, it should be used in the right place with precautionary measures.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gun ownership
  • shootings
  • increase
  • home
  • agree
  • disagree
  • impact
  • widespread
  • access
  • firearms
  • psychological
  • potential
  • statistics
  • examples
  • frequent
  • responsible
  • regulations
  • misuse
  • inequality
  • mental health
  • crime rates
What to do next:
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