IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

US consumers' average annual expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010.

#consumers #expenditures #cell #phone #services
The graph gives some data about both
cell
 and residential
phone
services
 were utilized
average
Change preposition
on average
show examples
 yearly outlays from 2001 to 2010 in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
. Overall, units are measured in dollars. Generally, the high rate belonged to the
cell
phone
services
,
in
contrast
Add a comma
,contrast
show examples
 the least amount was appreciated (in) residential
phone
services
. The show of the
cell
phone
services
 developed dramatically from 2001 to 2010,
on the
contrary
Add a comma
,contrary
show examples
 the index of residential
phone
services
 dropped off gradually between 2001 and 2010. With regards to residential
phone
services
, the top level of the pointer was appreciated just under 700$ in 2010, on the one
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 the minimum level was introduced in 2010 with just above 400$. In terms of the
cell
phone
services
, the pointers of 2001 and 2001,
in
addition
Add the comma(s)
,addition
show examples
 the indexes of 2009 and 2010 were relatively similar, the least of the index was shown with just above 200$ in 2001,
in
contrast
Add the comma(s)
,contrast
show examples
 most of all were illustrated with just over 700$ in 2010.
Submitted by aydin.quliyev2001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: