IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. To what extent do you agree?

#idea #career #fashion #careers #money #education #life
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The traditional belief of being a jack of all trades and a master of none is no longer in fashion. People nowadays tend to follow a reverse approach of adapting multiple careers along with upgrading their academic skills to expand their horizons.
This
Linking Words
 essay will talk about why it is important for working professionals to explore diverse
career
Use synonyms
 options and continue to grow their
skill
Use synonyms
 sets throughout their life. Having
one
Use synonyms
 single job throughout their life is no longer a trend. In the olden
days
Add a comma
,days
show examples
 people used to
loyal
Add a missing verb
be loyal
show examples
 to a single organization and would serve the same
career
Use synonyms
 path throughout their life until retirement. Many employers are of the belief that candidates having experience in more than
one
Use synonyms
skill
Use synonyms
 set help an organization to think diversely and grow holistically. Research has shown that people who have worked in more than
one
Use synonyms
 organization or have diverse job roles
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 are more competent, are better
decision makers
Add a hyphen
decision-makers
show examples
 and
successful
Add a missing verb
are successful
show examples
 professionally.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, working professionals are very keen on growing their
skill
Use synonyms
 sets to explore opportunities in other work areas to excel in their
career
Use synonyms
path
Fix the agreement mistake
paths
show examples
. The main reason for
this
Linking Words
 is the growing technology along with the urge of staying hand-in-hand with the industry competition. Another main reason for continuously
leaning
Correct your spelling
learning
show examples
 new job skills either related to
one
Use synonyms
’s
career
Use synonyms
 or new ones is having additional funds to
one
Use synonyms
’s account. More the skills
one
Use synonyms
 possesses,
higher
Correct article usage
the higher
show examples
 are the chances of being chosen by an employer at the same time higher you get paid.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a company hires a project manager, they will prefer an individual having knowledge of coding, marketing as well as creative design, as opposed to someone who has just have
technical
Add an article
the technical
show examples
 knowledge and will, eventually, be paid a higher salary. To conclude, I am of the opinion that having multiple
career
Use synonyms
 paths is beneficial in
professional
Correct article usage
the professional
show examples
 as well as personal growth of an individual. At the same time, keeping oneself upgraded in terms of
skill
Use synonyms
 sets, can add a boost
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
one
Use synonyms
’s professional growth.
Submitted by rananjayrajw1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: