IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#cultures #technology
Some people believe that technological developments lead to the loss of traditional
cultures
. While
this
 may be true in the case of some societies, others seem to be unaffected by
technology
 and the modern
world
. On the one hand, the advances in
technology
 that have driven industrialisation in developed countries have certainly contributed to the disappearance of traditional ways of life.
For example
, in pre-industrial Britain, generations of families grew up in the same small village
communities
. These
communities
 had a strong sense of identity, due to their shared customs and beliefs.
However
, developments in transport, communications and manufacturing led to the dispersal of families and village
neighborhood
Fix the agreement mistake
neighborhoods
show examples
 as people moved to the cities in search of work. Nowadays most British villages are inhabited by commuters, many of whom do not know their closest neighbours.
On the other hand
, in some parts of the
world
 traditional
cultures
 still thrive. There are tribes in the Amazon Rainforest,
for example
, that have been completely untouched by the technological developments of the developed
world
. These tribal associations continue to hunt and gather food from the forest, and traditional skills are passed on to children by parents and elders. Other traditional
cultures
,
such
 as farming
communities
 in parts of Africa, are embracing communications technologies. Mobile phones give farmers access to information, from weather predictions to market prices, which helps them to prosper and
therefore
 supports their culture. In conclusion, many traditional ways of life have been lost
as a result
 of advances in
technology
, but other traditional
communities
 have survived and even flourished. Some people believe that advanced
technology
 leads to the loss of traditional
cultures
 and the contradiction between them is implacable. In my opinion, while
this
 may be true in parts of the
world
, others seem to be thriving due to the development of scientific advancements.
Submitted by liuhuixia0816 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: