IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that criminal behaviour can have genetic reasons, while others believe that only circumstances can lead some people to crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Few individuals believe that criminal acts could be hereditary, but others consider that only situations could cause some
people
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 to commit an offensive
act
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. On one hand, certain psychological disorders that are genetically transmitted can provoke that individual to commit
crime
Add an article
a crime
the crime
show examples
.
On the other hand
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,
circumtances
Correct your spelling
circumstances
such
Linking Words
 as poverty and unemployment triggers
people
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 to perform an unlawful
act
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. There are some psychological conditions which genetic in nature, could lead
people
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 to commit
Add an article
a crime
the crime
show examples
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
. A person having
mental
Correct article usage
a mental
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 disorder lacks
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 ability to
percieve
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perceive
 things and their thought process is altered.
Moreover
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, their state of mind is altered, resulting
into
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in
show examples
 delusions and hallucinations.
For example
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, a survey was conducted at Tihar jail in Pune, majority of the
offerenders
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offenders
 were diagnosed having schizophrenia, which is an
inhereited
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inherited
psycotic
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psychotic
 disorder that contributes to violent acts.
In contrast
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, certain circumstances
such
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 as
unemployement
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unemployment
 and poverty can provoke a person to commit an offence. There are times where an individual makes a wrong choice in order to survive that particular moment.
For instance
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, since the pandemic started due to COVID-19,United States have reported a dramatic increase in crimes
such
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 as burglary, shoplifting, and robbery, as a significant number of
people
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 lost their jobs and had no source of income to overcome the need
of
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for
show examples
 their basic
necesities
Correct your spelling
necessities
. In my opinion, certain situations often
leads
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lead
show examples
people
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 to commit crime even though they are not willing to perform that particular
act
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.
People
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 tend to have indecisiveness to choose between right and wrong,
also
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 they lack the ability to overcome the problem by finding a correct solution. To conclude, particular
psyhcotic
Correct your spelling
psychotic
 conditions can lead a person to perform an unlawful
act
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 due to their dissociative thoughts.
However
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,
circumstanial
Correct your spelling
circumstantial
 need
also
Linking Words
 triggers an individual to commit an offence.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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