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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As well as making money, business have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

#money #business #responsibilities
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Business
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 can play a vital role in modern
society
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. Apart from the high profit, I agree that
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business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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Change the verb form
has
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have
Add the particle
tohave
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 bear
a heavy social responsibilities
Correct the article-noun agreement
heavy social responsibilities
a heavy social responsibility
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.
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Business
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Businesses
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 provide working opportunities for unemployed
people
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 with wisdom and creativity. It can partly solve the problem of
high
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the high
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 unemployment rate in
the
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apply
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society
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, and alleviate the stress and
anxious
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anxiety
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 of citizens. Meanwhile, It
business
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 provide a chance for
people
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 from less well-off background to get rid of poverty.
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Business
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Businesses
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 require
less
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fewer
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 restrictions
of
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on
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 education
degree
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degrees
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 and family support, as long as
people
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 have amazing ideas and the character of hard-working.
From
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In
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 the long run,
Business
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 is helpful to close the wealth
devide
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divide
 between the rich and the poor in a
society
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. The growing
business
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 can supply household products to
people
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 who live in rural and remote
areas
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, which means
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business
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the business
a business
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 can help
people
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 improve their living conditions.
For example
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, some
areas
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 are lack
of
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apply
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foods
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food
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 or water because of
the
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apply
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extrem
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extreme
 weather condition and unhealthy soil. At that time,
people
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 could buy products transported from other
areas
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 to meet their basic
need
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needs
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.
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Business
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Businesses
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 strengthen the economic tie between different
areas
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 and promote the economic development of the whole
society
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.
Business
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 is responsible
to
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for
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 the environment. Most
of
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apply
show examples
Use synonyms
business
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the business
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 activities rely on
the
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apply
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transportation.
However
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, the emissions of cars and planes that contain carbon dioxide are harmful to the air. It may
also
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 cause
the
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apply
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global warming and many other environmental problems. As a consequence,
business
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 is ought to take care of
environment
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the environment
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 and bear
the
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apply
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social responsibility. A more environment-friendly method of transport should be taken.
Moreover
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, there are more green products have been produced
such
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 as recycled
bottle
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bottles
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 and
clean energy
Add a hyphen
clean-energy
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 cars. In conclusion, I agree that with exception of making money,
business
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 is responsible
to
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for
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the
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apply
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society
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.
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Business
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Businesses
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 devote to reducing the unemployment rate, providing financial support to rural
areas
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 and protecting the environment.
Submitted by 1404654525 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social responsibilities
  • contribute
  • well-being
  • community
  • philanthropy
  • sustainability
  • ethical
  • trust
  • reputation
  • accountable
  • profit-making
  • balance
What to do next:
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