IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Due to development and rapid increase of supermarkets in some countries small businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local businesses bring about death of community.

Due to
proliferation
Correct article usage
the proliferation
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in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 hypermarkets Internationally, the small
stores
Use synonyms
 are unable to contend with them . While others think that the shutdown of these small enterprises will bring death to
community
Correct article usage
the community
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. I strongly agree with the
first
Linking Words
 point of view. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will provide both sides of
argument
Add an article
the argument
an argument
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 with
plausible
Add an article
a plausible
the plausible
show examples
 conclusion. People believe that small
stores
Use synonyms
 can’t compete with supermarkets because the customer is pampered with comfort and options at the same time with low
prices
Use synonyms
. By virtue of buying a huge amount of
products
Use synonyms
 enable them to buy at on cheap rate.
Thus
Linking Words
, they offer
a low
Correct the article-noun agreement
low prices
a low price
show examples
prices
Use synonyms
 to entice the customers and earn high remuneration.
For instance
Linking Words
, Walmart is
chain
Add an article
a chain
show examples
 store that
have
Change the verb form
has
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 1000
stores
Use synonyms
 all over the world, they buy
products
Use synonyms
 at less price from dealers owing to a large
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
products
Use synonyms
 and sell at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cheap
prices
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, grocery
stores
Use synonyms
 can’t compete with them because they don’t buy lots of
products
Use synonyms
 that help them to decide the rate with salesmen and can’t give items at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cheap
prices
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, hypermarkets offer discounts, free delivery and different modes of payment.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it is argued that communities will die
as a result
Linking Words
 of the closure of small businesses because they can buy items
first
Linking Words
 and pay later in emergency situations owing to an acquaintance.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
usually
Add a comma
,usually
show examples
 these
stores
Use synonyms
 are located near to home so we have not to travel to purchase small things again and again.
In addition
Linking Words
, some specific herbals are only at merchant shops that will not available in supermarkets.
Thus
Linking Words
, if corner
stores
Use synonyms
 get close down ,it will result in
sufferance
Correct article usage
the sufferance
show examples
 of society. In the conclusion, both sides of the argument have their merits but I believe with the advancement of technology every is changing and we accept the change.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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