Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour

For the majority of

people

Add a comma

,people

show examples

shows and

games

on PC are considered as a primary source of entertainment. There is a section of

society

that believes the content of these mediums has become violent in today’s age, which has certainly impacted the peace in

society

. I would argue that these elements do not significantly

impact

human behaviour in our

society

Firstly

, individual who believes that

games

on PC and

shows are cruel might argue that these entertainment sources exhibit inhuman behaviour and would certainly increase the aggression level in

audience

Add an article

the audience

show examples

For instance

, movies

such

as Hostel and

shows like Saw, are harsh for the

first

-time viewer.

In addition

, video

games

of a new generation are nothing more than the organized platform for virtual crimes,

such

as robberies, accidents and invading a region.

Thus

, playing

such

games

will be destructive for young minds.

On the other hand

, my view is that Individual own choices make a huge

impact

in moulding his /her character.

In other words

, educated person with strong will power and positive attitude are rarely impacted by the harmful activities in surrounding.

Secondly

, there are education programs on

which are beneficial to school children.

Similarly

games

on PC helps to boost brain power and improve strategic thinking. If the content of

and

games

were so destructive

then

every viewer will be furious, but that’s not the case. In conclusion,

and computer

games

have become harsh to some extent

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and might

impact

Remove the article

apply

show examples

society

, but these factors are not creating any

impact

on self-determined and positive people. In my opinion, illiteracy and ignorance are responsible factors of aggression after watching the brutal content.

Submitted by rahulbhajji on Tue Aug 10 2021

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You have seen a job advertised in the newspaper. You want to apply for the job. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter • provide information about yourself • give details of your previous work experience • say why the company should consider you for the job

Computers and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experiences? Is this a positive or negative development?