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Band 2.5

Some people thi nk that excessive use of smartphones badly affects teenagers’ literacy skills. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #thi #nk #smartphones #teenagers’ #literacy #skills
Many individuals believe that using mobile
phones
 quite often affect youngsters education skills.
This
 essay agrees with
this
 statement because
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 usage of smartphones consume
brain's
Correct article usage
the brain's
show examples
 energy and waste a huge of
time
.
Firstly
, youngsters
Replace the word
lose
show examples
loose
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
 all their energy to gain
education
Add an article
an education
show examples
.
That is
 to ,say because certain grownups have some inner talents and ability to learn something fastly.
However
, when they use mobile
phones
 all the
time
then
 it makes their
mind less
Correct your spelling
mindless
show examples
 active.
As a result
, they have focusing and understanding problems while studying.
For example
, young citizens in India tend to watch mobile screens in their day-to-day routine. As a consequence, they are having focusing problems while studying.
Secondly
, it wastes a massive amount of
time
. Most teenagers install and play games on
phones
Correct pronoun usage
their phones
show examples
.
Additionally
, various young users make social media accounts to see and post videos, photos.
This
 takes an enormous
time
 other than study.
For instance
, Instagram is famous in
Change the capitalization
Indian
show examples
indian
Correct article usage
the indian
show examples
 states. Several school students see reels and photos of other people.
Therefore
, they are completely diverted from learning and their
time
 is consumed. In conclusion, using mobile
phones
 in high quantity make youngsters less energetic and reduce their aptitude skills.
Moreover
,
Maximum
Correct article usage
a Maximum
show examples
 amount of
time
 is wasted on technological devices
such
 as
phones
.
Although
,
this
 essay strongly agrees with the given statement.
Submitted by tarsemsandhu6275 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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