IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

#education #employment #people #work
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It is commonly known that some
people
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work
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 or study more intensive than their colleagues or classmates.
This
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 essay will find out why
this
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 is happening and whether it has a positive impact. One of the reasons that may make a separate group of
people
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 do several times as much
work
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 as others are that they have aims to achieve. Working hard requires a great deal of determination, and
the
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apply
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determination can be obtained by setting goals. For
this
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reason
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,reason
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people
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 prefer hard labour to procrastination. These ones who want to immigrate to other countries in order to study abroad can illustrate hard-working
people
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, as the immigration process requires a great deal of overwhelming
work
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 and, of course, studies in other language-speaking
community
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communities
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 is a challenging activity. Despite all the
advantages
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,advantages
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 there are several drawbacks
in
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to
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this
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 kind of affair. Some
people
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 are spending too much time on
this
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, and,
therefore
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, they are likely to harm their health. These
people
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 concentrate only on their studies or
work
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, and sometimes they don't have time to go out
on
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in
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 the fresh air, they can even forget to eat
anf
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and
this
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 results in the lack of vitamins in the organism, which is highly harmful. An example of
these
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this kinf
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kinf
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kind
kinds
 of
people
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 can be
I
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apply
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myself. I didn't realize what can be
results
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the results
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 of
this
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 occupation
until
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were until
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i
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I
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 was told by several times that I look
unhelathy
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unhealthy
healthy
. In conclusion, some
people
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are tend
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tend
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 to overdo their job or studies due to their motive to reach their goals, which
frequantly
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frequently
 cause serious consequences.
Submitted by yelena.ginosyan.00 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Genetic predisposition
  • Work ethic
  • Upbringing
  • Cultural values
  • Ambitions
  • Motivated
  • Fear of failure
  • Competitive nature
  • Overworking
  • Burnout
  • Stress-related health issues
  • Productivity
  • Quality of life
  • Healthy balance
  • Long-term productivity
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