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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime.

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative
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Although
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 it is sometimes thought the best way to reduce
crime
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 is to give
Correct article usage
a
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longer
prison
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sentence
Fix the agreement mistake
sentences
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, Other
people
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 believe that there are better
ways
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 by which
crime
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 can be reduced. I consider that there are far better
ways
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 to reduce
crime
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 than giving longer
prison
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sentences
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. On the one ,handsome
people
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 believe that there are better alternative
ways
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 of reducing
crime
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 than giving longer
prison
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sentences
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 and I agree. Businesses should be sent to rehab or given counselling sessions.
This
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 will not only help them to settle their minds but
also
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 focus on themselves and their future. Providing them education and upskilling them will
further
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 help them uplifting their spirits. They will start thinking of opportunities to work outside the
prison
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. Helping them in getting work or jobs will
further
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 change their mindset and they will start thinking of leading a normal life rather than a criminal one.
On the other hand
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, it is often believed that giving longer
prison
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sentences
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 is the best way to reduce
crime
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. Longer
prison
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sentences
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 can be very tough on your mental health. Living in
prison
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 is not easy due to its strict rules and regulations.
Thus
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 it can easily affect your mental health.
People
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 tend to go into depression while they are serving longer jail time. You need to be physically and mentally very strong in order to serve a longer time in
prison
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. The atmosphere of
prison
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 is
such
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 that if you serve a long time there, the chances of becoming a normal person decreases. There are chances that you will become more criminal minded. In conclusion, while
people
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 may vary in their opinions, I think there are better
ways
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 to reduce crimes than giving longer
prison
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sentences
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.
Submitted by naresh on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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