Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute to happiness?

There is no doubt that

money

is becoming the most crucial thing in the materialistic world. Some

people

believe that it shares a major contribution towards happiness. In my opinion, a man can be happy without much cash and other elements

such

as family, friends and good health promote joy. To embark on, there is an old saying that happiness is the state of mind. One cannot buy contentment with cash. A person’s greed for

money

can never be satisfied as they want to earn more and more. There should be satisfaction in one’s life.

Moreover

, some

people

are happy with their low income as they are able to pay for their domestic needs.

For example

, the rich class suffers from loneliness and depression more than

Correct article usage

the middle-sections

show examples

middle-sections

Correct your spelling

middle sections

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. If wealth has had that much significance

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

than

Replace the word

then

show examples

these

people

never feel like

this

. As moving

further

, there are other elements that

makes

Change the verb form

make

show examples

people

cherish. The support from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

family and friends is the biggest pleasure in life. As the reason behind

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

individuals always seek their family’s assistance to deal with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

difficult situations in their lives.

Besides

that,

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

another considerable factor is having

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

mind and body. A person would remain cheerful and energetic if he himself sounds healthy.

For instance

, seven out of ten actors and actresses undergo rehabilitation to overcome anxiety and to find tranquillity. To recapitulate,

money

is important to live a comfortable life and

also

a key factor in promoting happiness. I believe that individuals can be happy without much

money

this

could lead to greed,

however

, other factors

such

as fitness and family pillar contribute

Change preposition

show examples

keeping individuals to stay jovial.

Submitted by upneetsaini06 on Wed Aug 11 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Promoting happiness
Essential factors
Financial stability
Material wealth
Personal fulfillment
Contentment
Basic needs
Maslow's hierarchy of needs
Social connections
Pursuing passions
Well-being
Mental health
Spiritual practices
Personal growth
Community service
Societal contribution
Philanthropy
Joy
Satisfaction
Prosperity

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Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute to happiness?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree? af

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