IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that nowdays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #nowdays #choices
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In
this
Linking Words
 day and age, we need to
facing
Change the form of the verb
face
show examples
 with a huge
amount
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 of options and decisions. I think that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the growing trend in the
number
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 of
choices
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 are bigger than how many we could handle.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, the rising
number
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 of options gives us more
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
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 than before.
Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, thanks to the internet, we have tons of websites, where we can find everything that
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
.
For instance
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, if a woman would like to buy
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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new clothes, she could choose from an infinite
number
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 of online shops.
However
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,
this
Linking Words
amount
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 of
choices
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 could give us
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
great freedom and the opportunity to find the best product.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, our decision process is controlled
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 many ways. Huge companies developed
alghoritms
Correct your spelling
algorithms
 to convince us about what we really need.
For
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example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 Facebook uses Artificial Intelligence to define our personality and based on that knowledge, shows us
addvertisement
Correct your spelling
advertisement
 those force us to choose
on
Change preposition
in
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an
Change the article
a
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definiet
Correct your spelling
definite
way
Use synonyms
. Overall, I believe that
amount
Use synonyms
 of
choices
Use synonyms
 that we have today is
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 many
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because our brain was not designed for
this
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number
Use synonyms
 of information. Maybe in the
next
Linking Words
 few thousand
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
 we could develop
ourselve
Correct your spelling
ourselves
 to be able
choose
Add the particle
to choose
show examples
 on a better
way
Use synonyms
. Overall, I believe that
amount
Use synonyms
 of
choices
Use synonyms
 that we have today is
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 many
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because our brain was not designed for
this
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 of information. Maybe in the
next
Linking Words
 few thousand
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
 we could develop
ourselve
Correct your spelling
ourselves
 to be able
choose
Add the particle
to choose
show examples
 on a better
way
Use synonyms
.Maybe in the
next
Linking Words
 few thousand
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
 we could develop
ourselve
Correct your spelling
ourselves
 to be able
choose
Add the particle
to choose
show examples
 on a better
way
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by balasz1995 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelming
  • decision fatigue
  • liberating
  • tailor
  • analysis paralysis
  • abundance
  • expectations
  • satisfaction
  • simplify
  • anxiety
  • illusion of choice
  • consumerism
  • resource depletion
  • restrictive
  • oppressive
  • fulfill potential
What to do next:
Look at other essays: