IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe that nowdays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #nowdays #choices
In
this
 day and age, we need to
facing
Change the form of the verb
face
show examples
 with a huge
amount
 of options and decisions. I think that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the growing trend in the
number
 of
choices
 are bigger than how many we could handle.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, the rising
number
 of options gives us more
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 than before.
Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, thanks to the internet, we have tons of websites, where we can find everything that
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
.
For instance
, if a woman would like to buy
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
new clothes, she could choose from an infinite
number
 of online shops.
However
,
this
amount
 of
choices
 could give us
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
great freedom and the opportunity to find the best product.
On the other hand
, our decision process is controlled
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 many ways. Huge companies developed
alghoritms
Correct your spelling
algorithms
 to convince us about what we really need.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 Facebook uses Artificial Intelligence to define our personality and based on that knowledge, shows us
addvertisement
Correct your spelling
advertisement
 those force us to choose
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
an
Change the article
a
show examples
definiet
Correct your spelling
definite
way
. Overall, I believe that
amount
 of
choices
 that we have today is
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 many
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because our brain was not designed for
this
number
 of information. Maybe in the
next
 few thousand
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
 we could develop
ourselve
Correct your spelling
ourselves
 to be able
choose
Add the particle
to choose
show examples
 on a better
way
. Overall, I believe that
amount
 of
choices
 that we have today is
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 many
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because our brain was not designed for
this
number
 of information. Maybe in the
next
 few thousand
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
 we could develop
ourselve
Correct your spelling
ourselves
 to be able
choose
Add the particle
to choose
show examples
 on a better
way
.Maybe in the
next
 few thousand
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
 we could develop
ourselve
Correct your spelling
ourselves
 to be able
choose
Add the particle
to choose
show examples
 on a better
way
.
Submitted by balasz1995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelming
  • decision fatigue
  • liberating
  • tailor
  • analysis paralysis
  • abundance
  • expectations
  • satisfaction
  • simplify
  • anxiety
  • illusion of choice
  • consumerism
  • resource depletion
  • restrictive
  • oppressive
  • fulfill potential
What to do next:
Look at other essays: