Nowadays, there are more opportunities for women than there were in the past. Some people think this situation has cause more problems than it has solved. What are your opinions on this?

#opportunities #women #people #situation

In today’s world,

women

play vital roles in every aspect of society. Due to enhancement in education institutions, females got more options to work outside of their homes as compared to the ancient times.

However

, some people believe that

this

scenario leads to cause the problem rather than

solution

Add an article

a solution

the solution

show examples

to foster girl growth.

This

essay will discuss my views

why

Change preposition

on why

show examples

I am not convinced by the above statement given.

Firstly

, adult females are enhancing the development of

nation

Add an article

the nation

show examples

by contributing their knowledge to others. Because now ladies are concerned about the equality and rights to fight for their goods. Equality between

man

Fix the agreement mistake

men

show examples

and

women

had been changed because of the involvement of colleens in the community. To illustrate, statistics have shown that 70% of

women

are literate and educated which helps in pursuing

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

their professional

carriers

Correct your spelling

careers

show examples

that

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

to job security.

Thus

, I believe they play important role in growing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

one’s household and economy by getting rid of all the difficulties.

Secondly

, some argue that

women

empowerment has caused enormous troubles by going out. Because

women

used to stay at home before and taking care of children which leads to the increment in domestic violence, crime, and fortified rates.

For instance

, 60% of

women

were bound to mental illness and depression which cause them to suicide and leaving their

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

alone.

Additionally

, one survey stated that only 10% of

women

used to report files in the police station in past. That’s why

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apply

show examples

people think working outside should not be allowed for

women

for these hazardous reasons. In conclusion,

women

involvement in society is crucial for the public whereas it

also

can cause some serious issues for

women

itself

Correct pronoun usage

themselves

show examples

. In my opinion, education can enhance the

favorable

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favourable

show examples

situation for

women

to work in their professions to avoid these trouble-making situations.

Submitted by jshndip2525 on Thu Aug 12 2021

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, there are more opportunities for women than there were in the past. Some people think this situation has cause more problems than it has solved. What are your opinions on this?

In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

Governments around the world spend too much money on treating illnesses and diseases and not enough on health education and prevention. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

To solve the problem of traffic congestion govt should provide free public transport 24*7. To what extent do you agree or disagree. more disagree as there could be so many other ways to sort it out. It helps companies to change the working hours

Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. It would be better for them to be outside playing sports and taking part in more traditional pastimes than spending all day indoors. Do you agree or disagree?

It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be. Give reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together?